That video was hillarious. I made the mistake of opening it up at work and all my coworkers now think I am crazy because I just randomly started laughing really loud and hystaricaly(sp) for about 10 mins. I was laughing so hard I was crying. Which made them start laughing. Then they said it was good to see me laughing. That it had been awhile. I think I am gonna go home when I get off work and get in the tub, listen to my favorite songs...(little side note, Have any of you heard What life would be like? Its a christian song about I wonder what life would be like if you let Jesus live in you and me. I might say it is one of the powerfullest songs I have heard.) but get in the bath and jam out to the songs and just let myself cry my little heart out. To be honest, I think that the fact I have Lupus and the fact the I am having kidney problems due to Lupus has just hit me and I don't know how to handle it. Before when it was just joint and muscle pain/fatigue, it was something I could handle...just pop more drugs and make the pain go away. Now I am constantly worried about is the treatment working for my Kidneys...what is Lupus gonna attack next? Am I gonna live to be 22 or 30? Will I be disabled before 25? I know I know, I shouldnt have those thoughts but with all the meds I take, the side effects I have been having from the meds, I feel horrible all the time. I just found out 2 days ago that my blood pressure is ranging anywhere from 130/104-130/115. I called my Dr and since I have an apt on Tuesday said that they would work with my blood pressure then. So meaning I will probably be on BP medacine as well.
And yes I have a great church family. Actually I have 2 great ones. I grew up in FL and my church in FL found out about my problems and they have been emailing me and sending me cards of encouragment. Which really does mean a lot to me. Then my church family here is constantly keeping up with me and sending me cards and calling me...making sure I am doing ok. My coworkers are amazing as well. They give me little gifts, gift cards to help pay bills. When I was having all the water retention, they bought me a 30 dollar pair of slippers that looked like work shoes, so I could wear them around the office and not have my feet being squezed off by a pair of shoes. They will buy me fruit and cranberry juice and all the foods that are really good for your kidneys. My family is also just as supportive if not more. To be honest, I know I am very lucky to have such great support. It makes me feel guilty for feeling so down and for the thoughts I have, but I can't seem to stop thinking them.
I do thank God everyday that our physical bodies are temporary. Sometimes I wish that it would over and then I realize that there is some reason I am here...Somewhere down the road I might be needed to help someone. Maybe even help someone who is struggeling with what I am struggeling with now. It is such a relief to know what is in hold for us after this earthly life is over! Thanks Ginny, your post really helped me a lot. I think it actually made my day
One more question...Anyone know how I can meet people in my city that have Lupus? I think it would be good for me to have a support group that I could get together with and talk with and share our stuggles/battles/good times. Things like that. Maybe even find someone close to my age that has Lupus.
Sorry this turned into a book. I didnt mean for it too! But I am actually feeling a little better now that I have gotten my feelings out. Thank you guys so much
21 years old...Systemic Lupus 11/07, lupus nephritis 01/09, raynoids 03/08, Carpal Tunnel 03/08
Voltaren, Ultram, Prednisone, Cell-Cept, Imuran, Ambien,Furosemide, Flexeril, Darvocet, Iron pills, Calcium, Vitamin B12, Chantex, Aspirin 81 mg, Vitamin CI Can do all things through Christ who gives me strenth! (Philippians 4:13)