I have this overwhelming desire to keep up with my peers in the photography industry. I see and hear about all the work they're doing, all the new technology they're researching, how their businesses are growing and expanding. I on the other hand see my business going in the opposite direction. I'm struggling to make ends meet, and I'm embarrassed to admit to anyone that my business is a wash-up. I would have a thriving, growing, exciting business if I could do the amount of work the others can do. I've put everything I have into this lovely little business. I offer excellent service and really nice photography. But I can't take enough work to keep it going, or keep my bills paid; let alone upgrade my equipment that is literally on its last legs. Oh you guys I want to fit in so badly. I want to do what they're doing. I want to have their energy, drive, enthusiasm, and success. I see photographers who came on the scene 4 years ago, flying past me. Literally leaving me in the dust, and I've been doing this for a decade now. I'm spinning my wheels. Going nowhere.
My motivation is dismal right now. I'm just so tired and worn out. Feeling pressure to continue because if I don't we lose the house, cars, etc. I want to continue. I just don't have the "umph" to keep going at this pace (and this pace isn't very fast). Lupus and Fibro has taken enough from me already. Now it wants my career, my passion.
I needed to get my feelings out. As much as my family and husband support me, they don't understand what this does to my confidence and my self esteem. Thanks for letting me vent and cry.
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13
35 years old. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, Anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke, 2002), Sjogren's, Raynaud's, Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck), anxiety, Chinook migraines. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, Didrocal, Cozaar, Zoloft, Neurontin, calcium, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus
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