Hey Y'all, Well things are getting worse here. My Hubby has been having trouble getting work, he's a painter and new construction is about
at a stand still. Since he's self-employed, we have no health ins., no un-employment and no stimulus aid. I don't qualify for disability because I have been home with my kids for 7 years. I've applied for SSI and medicaid but that's waiting on the second appeal decision. All of this has thrown me into a horrible flare. I'm sooooooo tired, my joint pain is now in my feet as well as my hands and back and any sun exposure makes me break out in a rash. My doc doesn't want to go immunosuppressent road yet, because of all the damage it does and having two small children I would be sick all the time. He gave me a script
for a larger pred taper dose, but with my stress level where it's at I'm afraid it will make me crazy. I feel like I'm some horrible junky popping pain pills and neglecting my kids. Don't get me wrong, they're fed and clean (relatively clean for boys), but I just wish I had more energy to play with them and entertain them. I find the most attention I can give them is snuggles while I lie in bed, and you know young boys(20 months and 6) won't sit still for long. We've been applying for assistance from the state, which means more appointments. I had to get a statement from my doctor stating that I can't work and it just about
crushed me to see in writing "duration of illness-lifelong, nature of illness-chronic,progressive, debilitating". It's like the last thread of denial I was holding onto was just snapped. I can't talk about
these fears with my DH because he's so stressed about
work or lack there of. Thank God I have you guys, where I can vent these feelings, ask for prayers and know that everyone here knows what it feels like at one point or another to feel so incredibly broken. I even have trouble going to church these days because when I look up at the Crucifix I just want to surrender myself and break down, but I just can't let my kids see that. Well, I guess that's the end of my rant, thanks for letting me vent. It helps so much just to get all of this out. God Bless you all.
PCP pretty convinced- Lupus , Taking plaquenil,Propranolol, Flexeril,Claritin, Zantac,Ambien,vitamin B-12, multi- vitamin, Lortab. Mom of 2 boys 1 and 6. Symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain, heat/sun sensitivity, mouth and nose sores, malar rash, migranes, awful hives, positive ANA, and RF.