Medical Record Blunder. Hilarious

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1470
   Posted 4/15/2009 4:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone! I ran across this today and thought of you all! Hope you enjoy...
These are items from actual Medical Records!

- Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (Long fingers?)

- The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

- Patient stated that she had been constipated for most of her life until 1989 when she got a divorce.

- Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

- The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

- The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut, and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

- Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

- The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

- Bleeding started in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.

- Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation. (Excuse me, what are you doing with that pen light?)

- She is numb from her toes down.

- Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot. (Anatomy review time!)

- While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

- The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead. (An empowered patient.)

- The patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

- Coming from Detroit, this man has no children.

- Examination reveals a well-developed male lying in bed with his family in no distress.

- Patient was alert and unresponsive.

- When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

- We will follow her eyes and nose with a foley catheter.

- By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.

- Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

- On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

- The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.

- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

- Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

- Healthy-appearing decrepit sixty-nine-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

- The patient refused an autopsy.

- The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.

- Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

- The patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a forty-pound weight gain in the past three days.



21 years old...Systemic Lupus 11/07, lupus nephritis 01/09, raynoids 03/08, Carpal Tunnel 03/08

Ultram, Prednisone, Cell-Cept, Lisinopril, Imuran, Ambien, Flexeril, Darvocet, Ferrious Sulfade, Calcium, Vitamin B12, Chantex, Aspirin 81 mg, Vitamin C

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2009
Total Posts : 58
   Posted 4/15/2009 5:50 PM (GMT -6)   
That made me giggle smilewinkgrin

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 4/15/2009 6:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Really funny! Thanx for sharing. Needed a laugh! Judy

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 98
   Posted 4/17/2009 8:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Hilarious turn ! This made me laugh and laughing is so good for us! Thanks for sharing! Tammy

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 4/20/2009 9:30 AM (GMT -6)   
Heeheehee!! Those are funny!  I like that last one.  Thanks Amy!
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13

35 years old. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, Anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke, 2002), Sjogren's, Raynaud's, Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck), anxiety, Chinook migraines. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, Didrocal, Cozaar, Zoloft, Neurontin, calcium, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus
Co-Moderator for the Lupus and Fibromyalgia forums

New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Tuesday, September 18, 2018 11:02 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 3,004,281 posts in 329,130 threads.
View Active Threads

Who's Online
This forum has 161734 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, electrified.
188 Guest(s), 10 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
logoslidat, BossJ, JNF, jberda1, 3timechamp, Admin, ceebs13, Alxander, InTheShop, straydog