Lynwood - sorry you're feeling frustrated and "stuck". I saw Michael J. Fox on someone's show recently, and the host was lauding him for his positive attitude - and he made it very clear that first there was lots of anger, depression and "wallowing" - using alcohol, etc. to blot it out. I so respected that - it takes time and work no matter who you are. And still there are bad days. The thing he said that resonated with me was that he realized that even when his body was having a really bad day - which was disappointing - he didn't have to let his mind go along. He could choose to acknowledge his body's bad day, but not adhere his emotional wellbeing to it. I'm butchering it in translation, but he said he had to work at it until it finally became a practice of sorts. I've tried it - and I'm no good at it - yet.....but it still sounds like something worthy of practice.
As for the thought on community....I have become very isolated by these new limitations. I think it's the hardest thing - not being a "do-er" anymore. I'm an artist and creative energy has always been a dependable distraction, solace, refuge, whatever....but even that has failed during times of extended flare, which just makes me feel empty as well as lonely. I think our psyches resist "getting used to it"....for good reason. This forum has been a Godsend, because "normal" people just don't get it....lucky them.
So .... I join you in a collective/community arggg...Arrgh....ARGHH!!!
Wishing you better days,
diagnoses: mono 1972; postviral CFS 1997; fibro 1998; UCTD (dx limbo) 2007
meds: Plaquenil 400 mg, occasional low dose xanax for sleep aid, artificial tears w/ ointment at night, Advil/aspirin prn