You never know, it may improve things at home, they may bring together your stepson and father, or at least help the stepson. I have a 21 year old son at home that is very hyper on the immature side, which is fine by me, though he's growing up now. Anyway, in the months he's gone, things get tranquil and I rest so much that I think I can never be that active again. But when he's home, somehow, his energy is contagious and keeps me going, to a point.
As a single mom who worked two jobs, I taught my son how to wash dishes with me and clean up, making it a game, and he helped me carry things and do things we needed to do. I think so many kids these days are utterly helpless because they have not been brought up like kids used to be, working on a farm after school, doing chores, etc. It's so important for them. And they also need to learn to care for someone other than themselves. I try to look at it this way when I feel guilty about
my illness, that my son has learned to care for someone, me in this case when things are bad. He haslearned to cook, to clean, to help me with bills and to do his own, to do laundry, work on cars with my boyfriend, do outdoor work, but most of all, to care for someone else. When he gets married, some lucky woman will have a good guy who will not be afraid of illness, but step in and know what to do. Sometimes out of the blue he gets me a cup of tea(like Rosie). It just doesn't get better than that.
I'm not a perfect mom, but in some ways, being sick is a part of life, and my son knows about
it and can get through it. When he was little and I was really sick, we tried to hide it, but I was so sick, it could not be hidden. It frightened him and saddened him because he didn't know what to do or what would happen. It was better that we talked to him, and he began to help out, spending time with me back then, so he felt he had some control over things. Now, we share our illnesses and care for each other. I'm glad we did that.
I know you will be in for some great times that will make the rest pale. And I really pray this helps your stepson realize there is a world outside his head, full of people who need him to be there, whole and healthy. Best wishes, Patty, I know you'll do fine. And also, I feel for your daughter and her work schedule. It's shameful people have to work so hard just to try to live.
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus cond., AI polygland. dysfunction 2, hyper/hypopigment, scoliosis,kyphosis,stenosis, deg.,O.A.,spine surgeries, salivary/lymphectomies, NASH, COPD, RLS, UT/GI bleeds, hystero, brain/nerve damage,TB
Meds--INH,Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, HRT and Lidocaine patchs, Voltaren gel, Klonopin, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol, steroids