There have been some sudden changes during the past couple of weeks. My 33 yr old stepdaughter asked me to help her with her finances so we sat down a couple of times last week and worked through them. She has so much debt that there's hardly enough $ at the end of the month for food for her and her two daughters. And there's no $ for day care. She's a nurse and leaves work at 6:30 am and gets home at 8:30 at night. She had planned for my little 8 & 10 year old granddaughters to stay at home by themselves this summer. The thought of them being alone inside their house all day long makes me sick to my stomach. So I've decided to keep them this summer. They've been neglected so much that they have some behavioral problems and my stomach hurts when I think of what I have committed to.
I used my nervous energy to turn my playroom into a summer camp for them and have it filled with summer activities, bulletin boards, etc. and have enrolled them in tennis camp & vacation bible school, knitting classes, and other things. But it's like driving down the street and seeing a litter of puppies in the middle of the road. You just can't not stop and rescue them.
This may seem like not much to you moms out there who take care of little kids all day, but at 60 I've become accustomed to a lot of rest and quiet. I look back on the days when I was a mom taking care of my three kids and I yearn for the energy I had back then. And my kids were so easy and fun.
I'm doing my best to keep a positive attitude about
this and make it fun. These two little girls deserve better than they have and it's time I stepped up and did more than I do. They're here a day and a half as it is so they are used to being here. Wish me luck.
Additionally, my stepson is having severe depression and his psychiatrist asked us to let him stay here for a while. He has a lot of anxiety and he and his dad don't get along. I love the kid and am trying my best to help him. All three of my stepkids were horribly abused by their mom and then she abandoned them....packing up the house and moving out of state without saying goodby when they were teenagers.
I have to do this and I know I can do this but my stomach is a huge tight knot. It's time I took my own advice that I often hand out and do some quiet meditation.
And Rosie, I think I'll have a cup of your hot tea. Thanks for listening to me vent. This helps.