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Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 7/17/2009 11:35 PM (GMT -6)   
I had blood work today.  I see my nephrologist on Wednesday.  I've been doing great.  I haven't had to have dialysis since March and yet i'm starting to get paranoid!  Every little thing today has set me off on a tangent of worrying about the "What Ifs"!  Does anybody else do this?  I feel horrible to even admit it, some of you are facing such horrible issues right now.  I should be counting my blessings instead of worrying!!!!  Oh well, just needed to get that out of my system!  God Bless you all, Judy

Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2006
Total Posts : 2607
   Posted 7/18/2009 9:10 AM (GMT -6)   

I'm sure that if I had your kidney issues I'd be paranoid too. I know I have to fight the tendency for my imagination to get away from me when I think something is wrong, and it sounds like that's going on with you.

What great news to hear that you haven't had dialysis since March! I'm going to hang onto that and tell you that you're going to be ok! But don't beat yourself up for feeling down from time to time -- we all do. Basically, though, you're a strong positive person and I love you for that.

Take care of yourself and have a great weekend.


SLE, fibro, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision, migraines, costocondritis.

prednisone, plaquenil, leflunomide, neurontin, synthroid, triamterene, actonel, niaspan, tri-est, cymbalta, tricor, acifex

Barbara Lee
Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 2889
   Posted 7/18/2009 9:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Judy:
Sweetie don't feel bad that you doubt how your feeling and if you've got something going on.  I think that a normal reaction when you have serious issues going on.  Your kidney issues are very serious and if I were you I'd be worry about it even though I was doing fine.  As you know how sick I am I try to block it out and go on with my life but that little voice in my head never lets me forget how sick I truly am.  I can't seem to move past that my Doctors are expecting me to worsen and get sicker.  I think the reaction you're having is totally normal. 
The only advice I can offer is try to push it back into the very back of your mind and unless something shows up try to just enjoy your life to it fullest.   I look at it this way I'm meant to be in this world a specfic amount of time and my illness are cutting that even shorter.  So I need to try to live my life to the fullest and provide as many good memories for those who love me.  Even tho I hurt everyday and I struggle with fatigue and shortness of breath, I still try, some days are really bad and some days are just bad.  I make sure those I love I tell them so and I try not to let them see I'm worrying all the time.  I'll pray that you have some peace Judy.  I hope that you continue to do well.
dx fibro, SLE, glaucoma, cateracts, bells palsy, depression, migraine headaches, gastreopaersis, chronic anemia, RA,MDS (Blood Cancer). Tons of meds.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 5514
   Posted 7/18/2009 10:00 AM (GMT -6)   
Judy, I'm paranoia city!! LOL.  Anxiety about health issues is my middle name.  I think it's super common considering what you have been through. My imagination goes to extremes when I get anxious.  I don't have much in the way of advice to get past feeling this way.  I struggle terribly with anxiety and panic.  Just wanted you to know your feelings are shared!  That is just awesome you haven't needed dialysis since March!  Hang on to your faith girl!  I'm praying for you too.
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in to be content.Phillipians4:11-13
35 years old. Diagnosed with Lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, Anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke, 2002), Sjogren's, Raynaud's, Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck), anxiety, Chinook migraines. Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, Didrocal, Cozaar, Zoloft, Neurontin, calcium, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus
 Co-Moderator for the Lupus and Fibromyalgia forums

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 7/18/2009 11:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much my dear, understanding friends. I don't want to be 'paralyzed' by fear in the good times! It's like you said Barb, it's just that little nagging feeling in your gut that wont let you totally relax! Too much has happened. I wish so much I had never heard the world Lupus! Or I wish they would say "Oh Lupus? NO big deal, take this little pill and it'll be gone in 24 hours!"

I know that God has a purpose in it all! We'll understand it better by and by!!! I appreciate you guys so much!!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 1470
   Posted 7/18/2009 2:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Judy! Yes, anxiety i belive is my middle name. It's goten to the point where I wake up in the middle of the night have anxiety attacks. I am even dreaming about Lupus and the nightmares that come with it. Its gotten so bad that I will be sitting under a bridge in traffic and I start panicking because I am terrified that the bridge is gonna fall on me and crush me. I was told there are studies going on with Lupus causing anxiety. I agree about your Lupus and the 24 hour pill! Mayb one day we will be able to take part of something like that. ANd Congrats about the dialysis, I can imagine how wonderful that is and I pray that things will stay that way!



21 years old...Systemic Lupus , lupus nephritis , raynoids , Carpal Tunnel

Ultram, Prednisone, Cell-Cept, Lisinopril,  Ambien, Flexeril, Darvocet, Ferrious Sulfade, Calcium, Vitamin B12, Aspirin 81 mg, Vitamin C

The Old Normal is no more so I and we have to find a New Normal...


Veteran Member

Date Joined Dec 2005
Total Posts : 1950
   Posted 7/18/2009 10:18 PM (GMT -6)   
So great you haven't needed dialysis since march! That's great! I'm a worry wart too. With your serious health issues, I would be worried too. My liver is the main problem with me, and I worry about it. Unfortunately, when they can't tell me what's going to happen when, its just hard to deal with.

Meditation and wrting fiction helps me, as well as doing things with my hands. I always say, when you have that nervous energy, write, and my paranoia has fueled alot of projects! I used to think nervous energy meant something was wrong, then I learned that it meant "get stuff done" so I do. Paranoia, energy, I'll take what I can get!
Love, Marji
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus cond., AI polygland. dysfunction 2, hyper/hypopigment, scoliosis,kyphosis,stenosis, deg.,O.A.,spine surgeries, salivary/lymphectomies, NASH, COPD, RLS, UT/GI bleeds, hystero, brain/nerve damage,TB
Meds--INH,Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, HRT and Lidocaine patchs, Voltaren gel, Klonopin, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol, steroids

Regular Member

Date Joined Jun 2009
Total Posts : 66
   Posted 7/18/2009 11:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm a worrier too!
I am the type of person that has to know everything about what's going on with me and take in as much information as I possibly can. I also tend to think the worst when feeling badly. Just last week when I posted on here, I was sure it was something going terribly wrong when it turned out to be probably a stomach virus- which would have been a normal thought a couple of months ago but not so last week. LOL

Anyway, my mom reminds me to breathe and take things one step at a time.
Diagnoses- UCTD 2009, ovarian cysts 2008, asthma 2001
Daily Meds- Plaquenil, Prednisone, Vitamin D

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1048
   Posted 7/19/2009 9:06 AM (GMT -6)   
I am working on a fiction novel right at this moment! I LOVE to write, I have all of my life. HOw cool!

NOLA- I had to laugh about you stomach virus because I can't tell you how many times somethings 'normal' happens and I think i'm dying for sure! I'm assuming you're originally from New Orleans? I'm just about 45 miles North of New Orleans.
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