Don't be too hard on yourself, I am an old nurse and I do it, too. And been sicker, longer, for it. I promised myself, next time will, has to be, different. I just can't get past the humiliation, I know, bad word but I think you'all will understand, of having been so sick for so long and being told "why, you must just be depressed, oh, now it's just got ta be menopause, because, why..... other that those funny little unusual antibodies that just come n go..... all your labs and tests are "normal" I am just feeling extra bitter, and sad, because I just missed my first week of school, with possibly the H1N1 flu, but since I had a fever two nights in a row, I didn't dare try and go to class even if I could have. Been in bed for 4 days and my sore throat is really bad. I had recently traveled to Tx&La and spent alot of time in airports, and been visiting near communities that were having outbreaks. And we know with flares, if we wait long enough, the symptoms do get better. So I am a "waiter" too.
Hope you feel better soon! and don't do too much cause your IV steroid pumps you up with energy! It's just a mean trick, a tease of feeling almost well, remember that? that we will most certainly pay for.
God knows, even if I don't....
CNS Lupus 2005, APS, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
Meds: Plaquenil, Neurontin, Thyroid, Piroxicam, Aspirin, Atenolol and Norvasc, Prednisone 5mg daily and Paxil, Ambien every night.