I am a nurse and teach 11th/12th graders, so I have an idea of what you are both going through. In fact, one of my students recently lost her older sister to lupus nephritis. Harsh reality that unfortunately your daughter will have to eventually come to terms with. And accepting what you already know: that what she chooses to do now, will directly impact her level of health and wellness 20 years down the road. Generally, tweens and teenagers dont "see' that far ahead, and they only hear two things.... what they want to do and No! (what their parents and teachers are telling them to do). Then they react to that. Try giving your daughter options, because rest, and diet and balance are going to be vital to living with lupus. Instead of telling her No, you can't do that, or go there..... Sit down with LOTS of information about lupus and AI hepatitis, (knowledge is empowering) be willing to help compromise, and decide together with her dr. what she CAN do. Bargain, if she does this, she can't do that, if she does that this weekend, she cant do that, next weekend. Staying as well as possible is all about balance, and tweens and teens aren't balanced on a GOOD day. So hang in there, the teen years will indeed be challenging. Set cufews and respect her input. Decide together, she knows how tired she feels, on a time to be home, and a time withh lights out and computer and phone OFF! If you think 9pm, and she thinks 11pm, make a real written contract for 10pm, and reward her compliance more than punish her non compliance. Sun exposure is a big bad, and one of the toughest things I have had to accept and I wish I could move to Florida. Sunscreen and barrier fabric jackets, and pants, while pricey, are stylish and very effective. There are many companies making them, I like the coolibar catalog. In fact, so stylish in the exercise garb way that her peers won't even realize she is wearing barrier clothing. With practice, she can stand in the shade and her groupie will naturally "migrate' with her. Use her teachers and friends as a resource, get her teachers and friends on board with things they can do to help and support your daughter. And with many things, remember, we really can't make a teenager do anything they don't want to...............So, 'give in' sometimes, and bargain for compromise that is healthier for her, ask her what she is willing to do to be allowed to participate, but maximize her rest and nutrition. Like, if she goes out for pizza, will she drink a fruit smoothie before she goes..... How would you eat an elephant???? One bite at a time. Hang in there mom! Don't beat yourself up on this, you can't take good care of her if you don't take good care of yourself.