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Monalisa <3
New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 11
   Posted 10/13/2009 9:39 PM (GMT -6)   
I know how u feel about having ur world rocked and just needing someone to talk to or vent to who understands. when i found out last yearthat i had lupus i was so scared. and I got really angry about it. Like i would fight with my husband and just pout and wasn't sure what to do or say about it. It took me a couple of weeks before i finally broke down and cried about it. and even then, i did it alone and still haven't told my family about it. and even though its been a while its hard and scary. and it totally sucks. i'm 24 and i wish i could do the things a 24 year old would do. go out all night drinking, work out everyday(i used to run track), work and go to school full time every semester. but i can't and i hate it. and sometimes i want to scream or cry and have someone just know why i'm upset. at work i just realized that if i feel weak or something hurts it means my body needs to stop. I'm the type that never stops, i want to work till i pass out. but everytime i push myself i end up sick and in a flare up from all the stress. 
right now i'm struggling with feeling ok with not doing everything i used to. I never want someone to think i'm being lazy or using my condition as a crutch. so alot of times when i feel bad or when i'm having a really rough day i wont tell anyone. sometimes i'll tell my husband or my parents whats wrong and they show concern but its not what i need. i just want to know that its ok to not feel good all the time. and that i'm not being a lazy person if i dont get everything done right away...
so i guess i just vented :) ...but hang in there!

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 18
   Posted 10/14/2009 9:19 AM (GMT -6)   
Monalisa.....You are a very strong person.. and you are taking it very well.. I don't have lupus but I lived with it for 24 years.. my mom felt like that all the time.. because my dad would look at her sometimes.. like "your not hurting that bad".. but he never really understood.. no one can unless they have the disease but it took my mom years to finally realize how to cope/deal with it.. being as young as you are and realizing it so soon is very courageous and I am proud of you Hang in there!!

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2009
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 10/15/2009 2:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks so much Mona!! Hopefully we can talk again soon!
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