I know how u feel about having ur world rocked and just needing someone to talk to or vent to who understands. when i found out last yearthat i had lupus i was so scared. and I got really angry about it. Like i would fight with my husband and just pout and wasn't sure what to do or say about it. It took me a couple of weeks before i finally broke down and cried about it. and even then, i did it alone and still haven't told my family about it. and even though its been a while its hard and scary. and it totally sucks. i'm 24 and i wish i could do the things a 24 year old would do. go out all night drinking, work out everyday(i used to run track), work and go to school full time every semester. but i can't and i hate it. and sometimes i want to scream or cry and have someone just know why i'm upset. at work i just realized that if i feel weak or something hurts it means my body needs to stop. I'm the type that never stops, i want to work till i pass out. but everytime i push myself i end up sick and in a flare up from all the stress.
right now i'm struggling with feeling ok with not doing everything i used to. I never want someone to think i'm being lazy or using my condition as a crutch. so alot of times when i feel bad or when i'm having a really rough day i wont tell anyone. sometimes i'll tell my husband or my parents whats wrong and they show concern but its not what i need. i just want to know that its ok to not feel good all the time. and that i'm not being a lazy person if i dont get everything done right away...
so i guess i just vented :) ...but hang in there!