Sorry your family and friends don't "get it". I had finally gotten through to my family and started going through this again because I went to church and some people there don't understand because I basically look okay. People are afraid sometimes, other times they are just selfish. They say misery loves company so maybe they want to get you back to work because they view their jobs as miserable. Who knows. But I seldom find its out of compassion. Sometimes you just have to kind of tell your older kids to just "get a life" and focus on their own problems. Living with your kids can be a blessing and a real problem. The only thing I can suggest to you is to tell them you just cannot do it, when you can't, and to have them read the spoon theory. Remember, no one has the right to "prescribe" a lifestyle to you, especially when they don't understand what you are going through physically. Like so many other replies say, I'd pull rank as Mom and explain how hurtful the comments are to you and how insensitive they are being to your illness. Basically, it sounds like mykids that can take advantage of my brain damage to order me around and then all the sudden I have to stand up and yell "Back Off!" Bottom line, she's being rude. As her mother and an elder she should respect your ability to know what is best for you. If she doesn't like the extra burden of a little extra cleaning at times, maybe you can split paying a housekeeper. I was doing dishes every night by age 5 so it doesn't hurt a child to learn to do these things, along with vaccuuming and cleaning the bathroom and I got money for it. Kids have to learn sometime and I thought it was fun. So maybe the grand kids can help some. And your babysitting and teaching services are worth alot. A whole house cleaning once a week is much cheaper than a week of child care with expert mothering. Just don't let her take advantage. And as for loneliness, I got back with church and go to the library when I can and communicate alot through the web. I know its hard, but I have learned that the void of loneliness can be filled by a small dog or cat, spirituality, hobbies, many things. And once you are not so lonely when you are alone, then people have a way of finding you, but you may not want them by then! You are not alone, we are here!
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus cond., AI polygland. dysfunction 2, hyper/hypopigment, scoliosis,kyphosis,stenosis, deg.,O.A.,spine surgeries, salivary/lymphectomies, NASH, COPD, RLS, UT/GI bleeds, hystero, brain/nerve damage,TB
Meds--INH,Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, HRT and Lidocaine patchs, Voltaren gel, Klonopin, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol, steroids