My husband is gone away right now...he's been gone for 8 months, and will be back in another 4...he too has a long way to understanding how this disease affects me, and everything else involving lupus...it's going to be a bridge we cross when he comes back home. I'm reading these posts and others to glean info on how to help getting him more involved in my health issues too..I like the idea of him coming into my doc's appnt's...he never has before, but then again, I haven't invited him. I didn't realize the help that could be. Something to think about
for the future. I know that I need my husband to be a partner with me in this. Right now he isn't either. I think it's not a lack of willingness, just something he hadn't considered. He too doesn't realize fully how sick I am...or how quickly this disease can turn on us/our bodies. I don't think he realizes the possiblities that one day all of a sudden I could have kidney troubles where I didn't before...etc...I have no intention of scaring him, but it's not healthy to live completely in the dark. For now I will read over others attempts to get their husbands/close support network more involved, or knowledgeable in the diease we have and how it truly effects us. It's very humbling to have been a very self-supportive and driven individual and then to have to admit that I'm not up to doing something like housework...that it just feels too much energy wise some days...but we all know what that's like, don't we? Ok, just wanted to add my two cents..that's all. Artickat just know that you're not alone in having a husband that doesn't fully get it...I think it'll be an over-time thing...people always have to adjust...heck, we're adjusting ourselves, aren't we? We're just forced to do it quicker, 'cause our bodies aren't letting us pretend we can't do things that we really would do if we weren't sick. I just hope that he continues for your sake to be interested enough in coming to your appointments, and that one day things will truly click for him. Take care.
It is God that gives me the strength to carry on in the valleys of life and the wings to fly to the mountain tops
<FONT color=#008000>Dx: Diagnosed with Epilepsy Jan 2005, SLE July 2007, since then, Raynauds, Alopetia Areta, Vasculitis, discoid lesions, Endemetriosis March 2008. Meds: Tegretol, Plaquenil, quite often Flurbiprofen and Rabeprezole, as well as various other supplements/vitamins.