Sorry to bother ya'll, but I am a newbie to this site.
I have been having an unusually stretch with this flare -- but let me preface by explaining what is going on:
In Sept 2009, my father was diagnosed with advanced pancreatic cancer that has moved to liver, lymphnodes and lung. He chose NOT to go thru chemo and instead chose to do things that he wanted to do for the remaining months.
In Dec 2009, my very best friend in the whole wide world, little sister & her family had to relocate to Alabama. We have lived here all our lives and her 2 boys have literally saved my life -- and been a part of my life since the moment of their birth. Their family has always lived 20 minutes from me - i could stop by, be there to help them, etc. Needless to say, having this happen has broke her heart and my nephews as we are all very close to our father.
Our mother passed from breast cancer that moved to brain, bone and lung in 1987, so we have been a family that was brought together in tragedy and seen the joys of grandkids/nephews and sharing our lives.
Needless to say, watching our dad suffer and shrink and get sicker and sicker has not been easy, but combine that with saying good bye to my sister and my nephews has changed my whole world. I have had numerous phone calls from Alabama where either my sister or one of the nephews is having a 'meltdown' of how horrible it is there, how they want to come home, etc. I listen and do the best I can to help them thru their meltdowns -- and when I hang up, I cry to the depths of my soul -- cuz I want them back here too -- but I would never say that to them.
Over the past month, my symptoms have just multiplied to the nth degree, and the one thing that I know is that stress plays a huge role. I was supposed to go see my dad today, but because my symptoms are so bad, and our agreement was if there was anything off base at all, do not go see him. He can't afford to get sick at all.
My question to anyone is this: part of the symptoms I am experiencing along with the swelling, pain, rashes, is that I cannot get warm. When I go out to walk the dog, I have 4 things on under my huge winter coat and I come back and just cannot get warm. I do get night sweats horrible -- but its the cold and the itching that is driving me nuts. I am wondering if the sadness; the pain in my heart -- its a phyical pain when I think of my dad and my sister could be exacerbating everything. I saw my dr - and found that i am anemic on top of everything else. I want my mind/body to be as one, but I think they are in two separate places - (I know -- DUH, right).
Anyway, any suggestions for this horrible itching that is occuring with this round would be helpful. The rashes are red/white bumps that cluster on my arms, face and legs. I'm kinda used to them, but now I just want to be able to see my dad and not be so miserable.
I apologize for dumping.
I hope this is safe.
Thank you in advance.
A smile means everything to the one who receives it.
Lupus SLE, Bi-Polar (diag 2001)