Our marriage is stronger than ever but we are both about 70 and have been married for a long time. Both of us have a commitment to each other and took the "for better or worse" part seriously. Last fall my wife developed cancer so we have gone through 2 nightmares in the past 5 years. Mine was terrible and I almost died and started 2006 as a quadriplegic and could not swallow after losing 40 lbs of muscle (polymyositis). My main concern was the effect on my wife not anything else.
Marriages are strained and sometimes spouses act like they are the victims, ignoring that it is their spouse that is sick and needs your help and understanding. I am sure it is more difficult with younger people but I work with disabled patients and have seen some great marriages even under the duress of illness.
Suggest that you seek counseling and also take your husband, if possible, to your doctor appointments. I went to all of my wife's appointments for cancer the past 9 months so I could understand things better and help her get through it. She did the same for me in 2005-6 when I was in trouble. It is a little uncomfortable at first but in the end it is a good practice.
MCTD (lupus, scleroderma, polymyositis). Diagnosed 2005. Kidney, liver, GI tract, dysphagia, raynauds, Barretts esophagus, quadriplegic in 2005. Recovered and now active in skiing, tai, chi, hiking, golf. Meds: prednisone 2.5mg, imuran 25mg, amlodipine, benazapril, omeprazole, potassium, folic acid, vitamins, maxide and various supplements and vitamins.
Remain optimistic and you can overcome the odds.