Mikah, I know just how you feel and I'm so sorry for the pain such careless statements can wreak. My husband's always telling me to "take it easy" and to limit my stress, and yet he offers no helpful suggestions as to how I should get from point A to point B. Life, kids, money, illness - it's all stressful. I do know that stress contributes greatly to how I'm feeling, but it's not the medical cause of my lupus nor my RA or Fibro. What really drives me crazy is that he doesn't want me to verbally acknowledge how I'm feeling - Because speaking aloud makes it so. He prays daily for a total healing, but he refuses to acknowledge that the All Powerful God he wants to work a miracle for me is the same God who decided I'm one of the chosen who has to cope with chronic illness and pain. I do believe in God and miracles. But in the interim, sometimes I just want to vent: I'm in pain, I'm tired and I'm frustrated, sad, angry, lonely....etc!
I think one of the hardest things for me is that I've always been the "smart" one and I'm expected to do the research and teach others in my life what's going on with me. Sometimes I just can't do that effectively. Sometimes I just want answers, even though I'm not sharp enough to think of and ask and the proper questions from the right sources.
I hope you can stand up for yourself and let your family & friends know that their proclamations are hurtful and counterproductive. You need their support, not their judgement.