Hi jdrea. I wish I knew how many posts I've made re my depression. It took 2 years to get my lupus diagnosis and during that time there were months when my BF (we live together) just didn't want to hear my woes. Most people just can't relate. Since my diagnosis he has become a good care giver. Coincidentally, just last week I told my BF that I wouldn't blame him if he had an affair. I wasn't fishing for hugs, but I've sure gotten lots of them.
Sadly your husband might not be able to handle your illness, but probably you are both mutually slipping away from each other. The only way to find out is by sitting down with him and telling him how you feel emotionally. Maybe you can also discuss taking anti-depressants and/or anti-anxiety meds. I take 5, see my psychiatrist and therapist.
After 7 years of lupus it still defines me. I can feel so worthless at times. I think I'm finally making a little progress and developing a smidgen of the confidence I used to have. Can you believe it's taken 7 years to get that much self worth? I have a very long way to go.
BTW, Redrose is right about seeking assistance from the state to help with your kids. I don't know how old they are but, perhaps your husband will agree to grocery shop or wash clothes to help out. Of course that isn't going to happen if you don't talk with him. I really want to know if you break the silence. Love Ya, Donna