Hang tough, I agree with Butterflake, and I am glad you have a good primary. I would translate your journal into a chronological time line and use only key terms, no narrative. Type in in a word document and use arrows > between dates and symptoms >1997 dx. asthma>1998 tx for depression> etc. It really worked for me and my disability claims, and I know that drs. are more likely to read short notes. I would hand my "nurse note" to my rheumy, and sit there quietly for the first few minutes of my appt. while he had to at least pretend to read them. On my first visit, he laughed at me but said he wished all his pts. were as organized. And tears are appropriate at many times and do not mean you are depressed. My pcp asked me after my ob/gyn did, 'are you depressed??" I had had 5 miscarriages from APS and was falling 3 times per week. I said I was sad because of my lost babies, but demanded he tell me... Am I depressed because I was falling or falling because I was depressed!!!!!!????? I played the game, tried wellbutrin and paxil, and con't to fall. My rheumatologist does ten gallons worth of blood tests plus urine every year, and explained when I asked why bother and tried to bet they would all be wnl, that it is good practice to monitor the values, as the nature of autoimmune antibodies make them come and go. My ana, anti thyroid and antiphospholipid antibodies are usually positive/ or low, but I am still on alot of prednisone which suppresses your immune system. I know what you mean about cognitive problems. I keep a small calendar by my bed and jot down my current miseries that I can review before my next md appt. and I try and complain in priority order.
ps. and by the way, it's ok if you ARE depressed and depression is treatable, like so many of our symptoms.
God knows, even if I don't....
CNS Lupus 2005, APS, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis
Meds: Plaquenil, Neurontin, Thyroid, meloxicam, Aspirin, Atenolol and Norvasc, Prednisone 5mg daily. Vit. B12 2400 mcgs, Vit D 1000U and Ambien every night.