Turned this into a two pager instead of a rambling one page.....
People in here will be helpful to you in terms of how it feels to be the one with the chronic illness....this will be helpful to you in many ways as there are many dimensions when one is faced with a chronic condition. Learning, as I said in my first post, all you can about Lupus and it's affects will help you tremendously in understanding the mood swings, depression, anxiety, fatigue, pain, fear, etc.,
Lupus can be a horrible disease and if you can imagine every part of the human body, all the muscles, bones, lungs, heart, brain, blood, arteries, eyes, mouth, etc., as potentially being affected you begin to understand it's devastation.
I believe every person diagnosed with Lupus who is in flare should be given as a automatic some form of anti-depressant. I believe this with those diagnosed with ANY life changing disease. I believe this is often ignored and the concentration falls on dealing with the physical symptoms when the mind has just as much to do with treatment as does the body. It is one more pill in a Lupus patient's treatment, yes, but it can make all the difference in the world in how the patient responds to not only having the disease but coping with it daily.
I commend you for your love of this woman. Very brave to wish to continue despite the obstacles....support from family, friends, and loved ones is as important as any treatment for the disease lupus and I say this because, AGAIN...to look at the person they seem just fine....no blood pouring out, no bones protruding from appendage. There is a story online you can look for....it's called, "The spoon theory" and it was written by a woman who has Lupus who describes to those who know her what it's like to have the disease. She touches on the fact that she too looks fine...healthy....
This will also help you understand your partner. It's good for the one with the Lupus and great for those trying to understand those with Lupus.
She has to be one special girl......my wish for both of you is nothing but the best!