going crazy and upset

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sachan78
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/5/2011 12:17 AM (GMT -6)   
do feelings of going crazy and being upset diminish over time?

my diagnosis is only partial for the past 2 years. i've only been taking plaquenil. i have joint pain, fatigue, positive ANA, and sometimes protein in my urine. around this time was when i started all the tests and doctor visits, so all these memories come back. sometimes its pretty frequent that i get upset about my symptoms and i remember a time when i overcame the fear and emotional pain in accepting my body.

i was just wondering if this is normal and that it gets a little easier year by year or something? i feel like since my diagnosis is partial, it makes it harder for me to accept my health condition.

i don't know if i'm making sense or if anyone feels the same way, any feedback is appreciated

panther fern
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 3/5/2011 2:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I have a ton of empathy for you and completely get it.

I seriously thought i was a hypochondriac. my dr told me hypo don't come to the dr and say they are a hypochondriac, but i felt like a car that i just drove off the lot (i started have symptoms at 20) and first like the windshield wiper would break... and so on.

i eventually got not one but several dx. I think when you get a diagnosis you feel validated. when you don't have one you feel like a whiner.

being ill ... has humbled me in a way i never imagined. I went from being a high achiever, type A personality, a mom that put every ounce into parenting, a dental hygienist
now i can not work, i am not dependable, my kids are 19-18- and 16 I miss some of their sporting events more than some. I can not keep up my home the way it should be kept up (for my lungs) because it is about energy conservation. I would say when i am in a flare i may have a sporadic 15-30 decent minutes in a day. well I want to use that time making memories not cleaning.

I wish i could hire someone. but my husband is a police officer and is in the national guard, he busts his but for us, i am on disability and that covers our extra medical costs ie: meds, co pays and er visits etc. and groceries.

Something that helps me is everyday i write in a journal and i find 5 things that day that made me forget about me for a minute. not me like oh i am great but i have so many problems it consumes me. I decided i was no longer going to let it have control. so i write down 5 things every night that brought me some joy . and on bad days i read through it.

What is your Dx thus far? Does it get easier? I don't know how to answer that ... I will say I revisit at times how easy it was to be healthy and i mourn my health. but it does get easier. well for me it has. I have accepted it, I have educated myself on anything that i can do to make it more pleasant for me and my family, and yes at times i fall short, but i try. Overall i try to be thankful for the challenge.

You are going to be ok. Trust in the Lord with all your heart; lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5-6
"get busy living or get busy dying" some movie i believe gran tarino

I am going to try for round two of sleep as my eyes are dry and burning and i am sleepy. I will pray for your Dr.s to be able to provide testing that will give them the tools to give you a better diagnosis.

if you don't mind what kind of tests have you had and what symptoms? and a list of your meds. I am not a dr. but i am good at knowing what to request. I have had the basic classes to know just enough to make my mind crazy with wonder. lol

sachan78
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 3/5/2011 3:21 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you so much for replying. it really puts my mind at ease i can get this kind of feedback.

i think my first rheumatologist appointment i did nearly every rheumatological lab test possible. ruling out arthritis, scleroderma, etc. i've been regularly doing CBC, ANA, and the other blood tests to that are specific to lupus. those are all negative except for a borderline positive ANA. i also do urine tests and those go back and forth between negative and trace protein.

medicine-wise i take plaquenil. my periods started to occur less frequently a few years ago and so i'm on errin, a birth control pill. and then i take NSAIDS when needed.

panther fern
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 163
   Posted 3/5/2011 8:49 AM (GMT -6)   
my lupus didn't show in my blood work until forever it seemed like. I will write later.
rest time.
diana

mechiko
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2011
Total Posts : 82
   Posted 3/5/2011 5:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I am in the same boat as you right now, feeling a little crazy myself! I hope it gets easier. On good days it's easier to remember how much you have to be thankful for. I try to live in the moment and appreciate the little things :) like watching my daughter paint or play pretend.


Kathryn
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