I totally relate to the way that you are feeling. I woke up just the other day and had this sick feeling when I prepared my morning medication cocktail! I never dreamed that I would be taking meds on a daily basis! What's more upsetting is the fact that as far as I can tell... They are not really doing much for me!
Maybe just remembering that you are not in this alone and have lots of support here on this forum will ease your mind and give you comfort!
Celebrate "You " for all of your gifts and the fact that this illness is not who you are or what defines you!
Big Hugs to You!!!