I was diagnosed when I was 26. At the time I didn't care whether or not I would be able to have kids. I wasn't "there" in life. After getting married, at 29, my lupus got bad, I had a stroke, antiphospholipid syndrome, etc. My periods were absolute madness. I was a mess. I decided to have a hysterectomy when I was 34. couldn't take the periods anymore, and I knew, deep down, that kids were out of the questions. I had enough trouble taking care of myself and my husband. How was I going to take care of a baby? Sheesh... It just didn't seem responsible to bring a child into the world with everything going on.... Even adoption wasn't an option for me. For one, I wouldn't pass the physical!! A hysterectomy would close the chapter. Give complete closure. I wouldn't have a choice then. My choices were gone....
I'm two and half years post hysterectomy and I am SO glad I did it. But.... I have immense sadness that I won't ever be a mom. I'm 37 now and it hurts, a lot, when I'm with my friends and their kids. I do feel left out. I really do. Maybe someday I'll have peace about it all. Right now I don't. However, I do have peace knowing that there isn't a child feeling neglected by a mom who is sick and in bed all the time. I made the right decision even if it does feel awful. How do I cope? I cry. Vent. Pray. Be the best Aunty my nephew will ever have My coping mechanisms change frequently. LOL.
Every woman's experience with lupus and pregnancy is different. You have to go with the information you have and follow the advice of your doctors, family and friends. They will give you information that is BEST for you.
Take good care sweetie,
Moderator of Lupus and Fibromyalgia forums
37 years old, diagnosed in 2000. SLE, Fibromyalgia, APS, Sjogrens, Raynauds, Thrombocytopenia, Vasculitis, Stroke – 2002, Bilateral sacroilitis, Clinical Depression/PTSD/Anxiety/panic disorder, Optic Neuritis. Prednisone, Plaquenil, Coumadin, Cozaar, Zoloft, Didrocal, Seroquel