I am so so so sorry for your loss -- I lost my dad not long ago myself and my mom in 1987 -- so I know all the things that have been going on for me physically are probably a good deal of emotional that has brought on physical. I am having optic/visual issues -- it seems to be attacking the optic nerve of my right eye. I have been trying to get past the fatigue that is just so overwhelming to me along with the the migraine in the right eye/head and neuropathy, hot flashes that feel like someone is holding a candle over my skin (I had to have a total hysterectomy at 36)...and I have come to the conclusion -- along with my physician -- that losing my dad & having my sister and her family have to move to Alabama all at the same time has brought all of this to the point I am at. I literally cannot get through an entire day as I begin to feel so weak and tired it almost makes me sick. My appetite is gone, my heart aches & I miss him -- as you will feel as you go through this grieving process. Its hard -- it feels like you are so alone and then the physical that is manifested from all the emotional does not help at all.
I have begun to do this ritual -- I have this beautiful glass tart burner from Yankee Candle -- and I put in a lavendar tart. Its painted glass with butterflies and its beautiful. The top of this is a dish where the tart goes so when you put your tea candle inside this, you get this amazing lavendar scent for hours. I have put this next to my bed and I go into my room (some nights at 6 or 6:30) and I light my tart burner and I put on a movie that is on my iPad or Pandora piano and I let the scent and the peace just flow over me. The meds help some things but there isn't anything for a broken heart -- so I am hoping that you can find something like I have that feels like a hug when I feel so alone and in so much pain/discomfort. There are no words for how much I am so sorry for all you are dealing with....and tonight when I light my tart, I will think of you and ask for angels to come be with you.
A smile means everything to the one who receives it.
Lupus SLE, Bi-Polar (diag 2001)
Drugs: Plaquenil, Propranolol, Xanax, Prednisone, Lamictal, Synthroid
OTC/Natureopathic: Bayer Aspirin, Advil, Omega3, B-complex, C, Acidolphulus, Calcium (magnesium & zinc), Vitamin D drops and Juice-PLUS