Wow, I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time!
My advice would be to focus on finding a doctor willing to try the autoimmune treatments without a diagnosis, and see if you respond. There are many people without a clearcut diagnosis who are under a rheumatologists care and are helped by plaquenil, etc. Some people even get these medicines from a GP.
I'm no expert but I think that getting a lupus diagnosis with a negative Ana is hard sledding. I myself have a positive ANA and I am diagnosed with sjogren's, and even though I have multiple lupus symptoms including annular rashes in my past, the doctor hasn't diagnosed it. He probably won't dx until my anti DNA turns positive. I know for sure i have sjogrens but i think its secondary to lupus. But, I am already on plaquenil and prednisone so I suppose it doesn't matter at this point. But anyhow, my rheum hesitates to say I have it for a few reasons. For one thing he wants to be pretty sure because it's a life altering diagnosis. You'll never be able to get, or afford if you do get, insurance again outside of group insurance. Life insurance skyrockets, everything does. Sjogrens does this too but probably less so than lupus. I know that isn't a huge concern when you are very sick but Doctors consider all of this before deciding to put the lupus label on someone. And, I'm rambling, sorry! I guess my point is many doctors will treat based on symptoms alone, I guess the key is finding the right doctor. I don't live in Fl but if there's a lupus support group in your area perhaps you could look it up online and get some advice on which doctors there are more empathetic and treat symptoms, etc.
Your journey has been a lot like mine was, by the way. After my first child at 19 I started with the terrible rashes, hairloss, fevers, all of it. I was checked for everything back then but nobody would listen to me until i had both hands and feet inflamed with arthritis after the birth of my 4th at age 31. I'm sure you've noticed that we get worse after each childbirth. That is a hallmark of autoimmune problems!...Good luck on finding a doctor, you deserve to get some relief!