Dear Sylvia (My Blessed Late Mom's Name),
I feel your pain. After reading the posts from some of the people in this Forum, and from my own personal experience with recently diagnosed Lupus, people who do NOT have the disease truly either do not WANT to understand it, or, refuse to accept that a person can be SO sick every day. Your daughter in law is frustrated because your son has an incurable illness and she feels helpless. They do have drugs for the symptons but no cure. That, in itself, is frustrating. He is supposed to be "the man of the house," and, unfortunately, a lot is exected of him Your son needs to be in a support group AND his family must be with him. People who do not have a chronic ilness have a hard time dealing with people who do. My heart is with you. I have a son who is 44, and I've asked him to have the ANA testing done because he is first generation, as I am (my Dad had Lupus), and statistically, from what I've learned from this site, we have a 5-8% higher chance of developing it. Do you have a family history of Lupus that you are aware of? Please know that, as a mother and grandmother, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! We DO care. My husband had been living with me, with Lupus, for 7 months now. He hasn't really fully understood what my sickness is. At times, when he sees me washing the floors, or playing tennis, he forgets that perhaps 5 minutes or less later I can "crash." It takes a while for a family member or members to accept and understand our illness. Please try and get him to at least join this site....and perhaps he can convince his family as well, to join us. We know, first hand, all about the disease. We can try and help....please stay in touch. Bless you.