I truly understand your pain and frustration. I too have similar issues and then some. Have you ever heard of Systane. Its about $15 at Walgreens/CVS drug stores. Its an eye gel that helps with the pain or discomfort, burning, watery, dry eyes. Biotene helps with the dry mouth that is associated with Sjogren's. Are you taking Plaquenil or Predinisone? I just started on Plaquenil. I had become very frustrated and someone in this forum advised me of the trial and error of finding the right treatment. When the doctor started me on Plaquenil to coincide with Prednisone, Pamelor, Famatodine, and Hydrocodone I felt a since of relief and hopeful that this will bring some relief. Its awesome that you have a loving and supportive husband and kids that is definitely needed. I was also advised, that if the medications should be taken at the same time everyday, & stay out of the sunlight.
Someone in this forum stated to me that Lupus causes chemical imbalances in the brain. When I spoke to my Rheumy Friday, she told me that was true and the reason she has me using Pamelor. I too have problems with remembering things and feel frustrated when I have to think of the spelling of simple words.
I hope that you get relief soon, and like everyone else in the forum we must hang on, keep being strong, and not let Lupus overwhelm us too greatly.