I'm so grateful for these posts. I have been feeling so "out of it". Brain is just not firing on all circuits on a very regular basis, and I'm beginning to wonder if it's ever going to snap out of it. I have lost many friends and connections as well over the past 3+ yrs. Just couldn't keep up, and most people get tired of waiting. So hello, lonliness. It really is hard to reconnect! Especially knowing that I'm in between realms. Not as sick and miserable as I was - but realistically, still not able to "keep up".
Physically, I am functioning at about 35% of what I was formerly able to - which is disheartening, but the worst part is feeling as though I've lost my creative spirit. I can muster an idea and a little enthusiasm, but the energy required and thus the motivation, wanes before I can actually get started on something. I don't even want to climb the stairs to my little studio. I tell myself I'll work on it later, but then it's forgotten. I've been wondering what in the world to do about it. And whether it is connected to the whole UCTD/lupus thing.
I can accept that certain limitations for activity, sun exposure, etc. will remain and are part of the new normal. But this mental passivity - is something else. I don't really feel depressed - just passive - willing to let things slide. I know I should move and just put one foot in front of the other, but....meh....maybe later. That others are dealing with this is both reassuring and alarming.
Lynnwood - you're a wonderful moderator, I have learned to pay attention to your posts! Please let us know what your rheumy says.
Fran - You're right - how this effects the family is pretty big, too. I can't keep up with them, either, and it has an impact that requires adjustments by everyone.
Oreo - Thanks for the helpful points. It is important to count the remaining blessings, which are numerous and also to realize we have to venture out of the shell a little to get results.
Joy - Feeling scrambled is a great description! Like the "reception" is jumbled and blocked. I hope things start looking up for you.
I hope Spring helps us all.