sister has lupus

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queen be
New Member

Date Joined Jun 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 6/23/2012 8:21 AM (GMT -6)   
My sister has lupus- needless to say- AND  many '" issues"
I don't know how to do the right thing to help.  She wants to  do things she shoud not. But she does
then she is angry because we treat her with "kid gloves" 
Can someone give me some ideas. 
Also would like to understand what her pain is.

Elite Member

Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 6/23/2012 2:19 PM (GMT -6)   
She maybe in a state of denial right now.
If she gives in she maybe feeling she's declaring the lupus won.

I am a very independent woman and I feel like your sister is probably too. Don't baby her.

Give her some space to breathe. See if you can get her someone outside of the family to discuss her feelings with. For some reason the stress of this disease has a tendency to make us more sensitive with our emotions.
Be there to hear her complaints and help out if she asks for it. If she has trouble remembering her medicines put them in a pill sorter so she (and you) can check to make sure they're not forgotten.

Pain is different for each of us. My pain travels a lot, but most of the time it's localized in my hands and feet.

Are there any other things she's having issues with?

Regular Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 399
   Posted 6/23/2012 9:32 PM (GMT -6)   
When I was first diagnosed, I went "A Ha!!" because I finally had a name to put a on the problems I had been experiencing for so many years, but then the denial came. I hated being limited by anything and tended to push the envelop. What made it worse was family and friends not giving me the space to grieve my old self. That was the hard part. I am a strong woman and people expected me to just sail through the process. They did not give me the space to let the tears or anger come. And I really needed that in order to grieve that loss of self. So giving a loved one the space to express all of their emotions is the greatest gift you could bless them with. I now surround myself with people who understand that....they even give me the space to have a temper tantrum if I need it.

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