Jokes For Barbara

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couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 2/7/2013 1:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Barbara is feeling low so I decided to start a special thread to help her have some happiness in her life right now. Jokes only, please, and make them clean. devil
Because Laughter is the Best Medicine. turn
 
 
 
What kind of car does Dracula drive?
 
A Blood Mobile! yeah
 
Who does the elephant call when he hurts his foot?
 
A tow truck! smilewinkgrin
Joy
Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma, Asthma, Hypothyriodism, Sleep Apnea, Degenerative Disk and Facet Disease, and Allergies

When life throws you lemons....
Pick them up and throw them right back at them! :))

rhnicks
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2013
Total Posts : 27
   Posted 2/7/2013 11:17 PM (GMT -6)   
How does Kleenex arrive?

On an Ahh-Choo-Choo train.

*so bad I'm sorry!*

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 2/8/2013 1:52 AM (GMT -6)   
How do you make an elephant float?

Get the largest glass you can find, fill with soda, add two scoops of ice cream, and one elephant.

*So corny I've got kernels stuck in my teeth!* :P
Joy
Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma, Asthma, Hypothyriodism, Sleep Apnea, Degenerative Disk and Facet Disease, and Allergies

When life throws you lemons....
Pick them up and throw them right back at them! :))

Lynnwood
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 7725
   Posted 2/9/2013 11:30 AM (GMT -6)   
turn The only joke I can ever remember, one I've loved for about 40 years...

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?


Dead Ant, Dead Ant, DeadAntDeadAntDeadAnt

(The tune "Pink Panther Theme Song" by Henry Mancini)

www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=T-9lCS-8DjI
Lynnwood, Lupus & Sjogren's Moderator
DIAGNOSING LUPUS & LUPUS RESOURCES
"Life is far too important to be taken seriously" - Oscar Wilde

Barbara Lee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2003
Total Posts : 2889
   Posted 2/9/2013 12:23 PM (GMT -6)   
LOL you all are to funny. Your jokes did bring a smile to my face. I'm terrible at jokes so I'll be writing some down.

I just wanted to say thank you for caring, it helps more when you know you have someone on your side.

I hope you all have a low pain/fatigued day. I have more to post but my bed is calling me. Will post tonight.

Hugs,
Barbara

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 2/9/2013 4:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Love that one, Lynnwood! smilewinkgrin
 
Here's another one...
 
The lupus patient went to the Rheumy and told him, "Doctor, it hurts when I do this." She promptly demonstrated the move.
The Rheumy looked her at her and said, "Of course it hurts. You're not suppose to stick your finger in your eye!" smhair
 
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah tongue
Joy
Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma, Asthma, Hypothyriodism, Sleep Apnea, Degenerative Disk and Facet Disease, and Allergies

When life throws you lemons....
Pick them up and throw them right back at them! :))

Butterflake
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jun 2006
Total Posts : 1650
   Posted 2/10/2013 12:00 AM (GMT -6)   
A lupus joke: You know you have lupus when the pizza delivery guy complements you on your new pajamas.
 
You know you have lupus when you bend down to tie your shoes and try to think if there's anything else you need to do while you're down there.
 
Lastly, a corny joke: A southern Sheriff told his friend, Earl, that he needed one of them drug dogs to sniff out marijuana. Earl says, "I don't have a drug dog, but I got a drug opossum." Sheriff asks to see it. "Earl, this opossum's dead." Earl replied, "Well you asked for my drug opossum and here it is. I drug it from across the road."
 
Love, Butterflake smilewinkgrin

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 2/10/2013 3:15 PM (GMT -6)   
You know your Lupus Fog is bad when....

you walk into the room and forget what you wanted to get.

you change tv channels during a commercial and forget you were watching a movie.

you're holding a empty glass in your hand and you can't remember if you were putting it in the cabinet, getting out of the cabinet, or putting it in the dishwasher.

you're standing in the shower soaking wet and can't remember if you had bathed yet.

you feel like you've been drugged everyday. Drugged out of bed, drugged to the bathroom, drugged to the doctor, drugged to the store..... :P
Joy
Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma, Asthma, Hypothyriodism, Sleep Apnea, Degenerative Disk and Facet Disease, and Allergies

When life throws you lemons....
Pick them up and throw them right back at them! :))
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