Hi and welcome to the lupus group.
I want to encourage you to take a deep breath and try to calm down. Like Laura said lupus can take a long time to diagnose. I've had lupus for over 25 years now it took the Dr's 13 years before they finally agreed yep that is what's wrong and began treating me. I'm one of the unfortunate ones and I have severe lupus.
Lupus varies from patient to patient. Some have very mild cases where they require NONE to one or two medications. Some patients are moderate and others are severe. Lupus nowadays ISN'T a death sentence. Patients with lupus rarely die like they use to. You are correct there isn't a cure for lupus but it can be managed and some go remission and are totally off medications.
I'm a bit confused, you said you saw the Rheumy and he said that you didn't have lupus, but wanted you to get more blood work done. When you got the blood work done is that when you turned white and felt like you were losing your hearing? Cause if that happened while getting your blood done, I'm gonna guess you were feeling like you were gonna faint.
Have you been to www.lupus.org they have the list of 11 symptoms that are associated with lupus, you must have 4 of the 11 to be told you have lupus.
A postive ANA without any other symptoms DOES NOT mean you have lupus. There are a lot of things that can cause a positive ANA. My daughter has had a positive ANA since she was like 7 and had no symptoms of lupus. She's now 20 and her ANA is now negative.
I would make a list of any symptoms you have and take it to your appointment with your Rheumy. Try not to get to worked up yet over this, by the sound of what you have going on I personally don't think you have severe lupus to the point that you need to worry about dying. Mind you though I'm not a Dr can I'm not giving an expert opinion.
Stress is a huge issue with lupus patients as it can make us flare and feel worse, so check out the lupus site and wait and see what the Rheumy has to say.
Good luck and let us know what you find out.