Okay need to vent a bit. Yesterday, 6/8/13 was my 28th wedding anniversary. I haven't been doing to well as of late. Lots and lots of pain in my feet. Lastest Dr who looked at me said severe Achilles tendonitis in left foot, mild case in right.
I can barely walk, they prescribed a boot and heel cups. Picked up both, can't wear the boot. It's throwing my back and hips out of alignment and causing massive pain. Mind you those areas hurt 24/7 already. Massive swelling in joints, Rheumy said to stop decreasing steroids but didn't agree to an increase. I KNOW I need more, don't see him again until August.
Back to yesterday, hubby got a car part for the car he's restoring for his present. I don't have much I wanted and either what I wanted he couldn't grant, my health back, no pain, you get the picture. Or with his furlough coming up I wouldn't agree to spending the money. So we agreed that he would wait on me hand and foot today. That we would get his oil changed in his new car, then take me and get a new night gown, let me rest and go to dinner.
Well I got my favorite sugar coated lemon filled donut at 10 this morning. We left and went to dealer and got oil changed. He asked me to look at cars on the lot, loads of walking
when it hurts so badly. I did it though cause I wanted to please him. Left and went to get my gift, well parking lot is packed full he can't find a handicap spot. Won't park this car anywhere near others unless it's a handicapped spot. Needless to say we didn't go into store, went home instead. Hubby's grumpy by now.
Get home, hubby goes and takes a nap. I feed the cat and listen for hubby's cloths to finish drying. Get hubby up and the 3 of us go to dinner. Very noticeable hubby is tired and very grumpy. Daughter keeps asking why is he so upset. Dinner is so so considering what it cost. Home by 9:15 and hubby says night and in bed at 9:30.
Daughter leaves for summer job in NYC today. When she came home from college she dumped all her stuff in the formal livingroom. Told her it needed to be put up before she left. Guess what she's doing as I type, her room is so messy she has to fix it before moving other stuff in there. Why do they wait till the last minute? She will be tired and grumpy when she arrives for her job tonight for the ice breaker session
Feeling like neither one wants to discuss leukemia DX, but they are frustrated to have to deal with it. NOTHING has been said to me, not I'm sorry , how do you feel about
it, hubby hasn't told anyone in his family about
it. Daughter asked me, do I want her to live her life, or stay home and care for me until I die? Guess I feel like a HUGE burden now, thinking of packing my bags and just disappearing. I've spent the last 28 years following this man around the world and because I hurt today or that he wasn't patient enough I was denied a simple request for my anniversary. Am I being unreasonable? Is my pain frying my brain and I'm expecting to much? I just don't know what to do anymore. As I sicken I'll have more and more bad days than good.
Okay, guess I've vented enough for now, thanks for listening. Need to attempt to sleep as I'll be in charge of making sure daughter is up on time to catch her bus to NYC. I hope each and everyone of you are having a better weekend.