Having a Mother with lupus can be very hard to cope with at times. I've had lupus since I was 23 years old. I'm now 48 and I have a 20 year old daughter. She, like you has a difficult time dealing with my illness. I have additional things to my lupus. I was just recently told I have a non curable form of leukemia. It's going to kill me and my daughter is struggling with that.
I can't offer you any promises that your Mom is going to get better, however, she may. Our lupus moves thru stages, sometimes we're really sick and then bam, we're doing well. I would suggest that you try to think positive, and even though she's forgetting things, try to think that she'll get better with time. One of the things you can do to help her, is make sure she's taking her medications like she should. You can also make sure that she's getting plenty of rest and eating right.
It's hard to ever think about your Mom not being around. I know, I've been there, my Mom passed away in 1998 of cancer. It was really hard to cope but I have tons of good memories about her. The difference between your Mom and mine, is Lupus ISN'T a death sentence anymore. Medical advancements have made it so that people suffering with lupus live longer and healthier lives. Try not to focus on how bad she is. If you still feel really uncomfortable about her, maybe you could ask her if it would be alright if you went to see her Dr and ask them some questions.
If she said that would be fine you could maybe go with her to her next appointment. If you live far away, maybe she'll okay you calling her Dr and talking with them. I did that when my Mom and Dad both got sick with their cancers. I lived far away they gave their Dr's permission to discuss their medical condition with me at anytime. I hope this has helped some. If I can do anything else, please just ask me.
DX- RA, Lupus, Fibro, LGL Leukemia, Pulmonary Hypertension, Bells Palsy, Gastroparsis, Blood Clots, Cateracts, Glaucoma, Chronic Pericarditis & Pleurisy, Severe Anemia. Way to many medications to list.