Hi everyone I feel terrible and just don't know what to do. As most of your know I'm dealing with a lot of other health issues than just my lupus. I've been sick ever since I had my cataract removed on the 17th of June. Prior to that I was told I had Achilles tendonitis in my left foot, well I now have it in both feet. I can barely walk.
Last week I broke out in a rash all over my face, and onto my joints and limbs. I ran a fever of 102.7 for almost 4 days. I was extremely fatigued and really just laid in bed and prayed Lord let me die now. My Rheumy was out of town last week and the Rheumy on call insisted that I couldn't possibly be flaring with me on prednisone and MTX. This was his advice to my PCM so she felt there was no need to see me. She did run labs and low and behold my CRP had jumped up over 2 times where it was. My other labs are way way out of whack. Well I didn't go see her cause she wasn't going to offer me anything anyway. She's even refusing to take another x-ray of my feet. I think I need an MRI of the feet, but she's like no go.
Yesterday, my very good friend who I have known for 15 years now, invited me to her swearing in ceremony to take her oath to become a US citizen. She is from a former Soviet Republic and my daughter and I went there to visit her while she was home visiting family, there was NO WAY, I was going to miss yesterday. The ceremony was held at William Paca's estate in Annapolis, MD. He was one of the first people to sign The Declaration of Independence in 1776. The ceremony was held in the estate gardens but they did not have room under the tents for wheelchairs. I was placed directly in the sun for over 1 hour. Hubby, tried his best to cover me with our umbrella w/o blocking others standing behind us. My arms got burned though and I could barely breath as we had 91 degree weather with 86% humidity yesterday. We then went to a special lunch at a nice place and back to their home for drinks and cake. I was so bummed I couldn't do shots of vodka with everyone, nor could I have any kind of adult beverage. I sat there drinking water, I really started hating my life, my lupus is ALWAYS interfering with my NORMAL LIFE. Well guess how I'm feeling today, I feel like death warmed over. Of course, now my PCM will be gone on vacation next week. My Rheumy is still away on Temporary Duty for the Military. So I don't have a Dr to see and I'm totally miserable.
I'm just so tired of being sick. I'm having a very difficult time telling the difference between my RA or Lupus joint pain. My Fibro pain for my muscles that are hurting, and of course I'm having some systoms from my leukemia that are acting up. I just feel so overwhelmed and ill, I know I'm going to get sicker until I die and I'm dreading it. I can barely tolerate my life like it is now. How will I cope with it when I'm so sick I'm ready to die? All of a sudden I'm having panic attacks when I start to think about
dying. I'm TOTALLY TERRIFIED that I'm going to suffocate at the end. I guess, cause I'm having issues breathing now it's wigging me out.
Sorry, to bother you all, but I have NO ONE to talk to, except my therapist. She never gives her opinion on anything LOL. Any suggestions for my tendonitis? My Rash, and joint pain? I know what I need for my leukemia, hope to get some blood on Monday, will call my oncologist first thing. If I can't make it through the weekend then we will go to the ER. I hope you all have a good night and great weekend. If you have any suggestions I would LOVE to hear them.
Hope you had a great 4th and thanks for being here, I know you are always here and I love you all dearly for that, you all GET IT.