First I'm so sorry for you loss (((hugs))), I can't begin to say I understand what you've gone through, but I'm sorry never the less.
As to your condition, it's hard to say. Normally, you have to have 4 of the 11 symptoms to be DX'd with lupus. Having what blood work positive that you have and no symptoms normally, wouldn't get a diagnosis. However, if the medication that has been prescribe to you changes your blood results it's possible you could have it.
Lupus is very difficult to DX, in my case it took my Doctors 13 years before they agreed I had it and began treating my lupus. My lupus is very severe and I believe that's because I was left untreated for such a long time.
I would recommend that you check out the lupus foundation website and look over the symptoms and see if anything fits you. I'd follow up with the Rheumy and have them retest your labs and see if the meds did anything to change them. Other than that, you could get a second opinion and I'd wait and see what happens symptom wise.
I'm really sorry that you're having issues and I know it's frustrating. It is possible to have a baby and have lupus. I hadn't been DX'd with it when I had my daughter. I did become very ill after her birth, which sometimes is common as the all the stress of being a new mom can wear us down. My daughter has had a positive ANA 1:640 since she was 6 and we constantly worry is she going to develop lupus. She's watched and does complain of joint pain, fatigue when out in the sun, and other symptoms of lupus.
Doctors don't know what causes lupus, so they can't tell us if it's hereditary. It seems to run in families though. If you have any more questions please feel free to come and ask away.
DX- RA, Lupus, Fibro, LGL Leukemia, Pulmonary Hypertension, Bells Palsy, Gastroparsis, Blood Clots, Glaucoma, Chronic Pericarditis & Pleurisy, Severe Anemia. Way to many medications to list.