Posted 3/5/2014 9:34 PM (GMT -8)
Thanks Diane, Joy, UA, Loretta, and Laura for the birthday wishes. I have to admit there were times when I wondered if I would live to see 49. Well it's here and now the goal is to make sure I'm still alive at least until June 2015. (Daughter's graduation from college) I missed her high school graduation in 2011, I was busy hanging out on life support in the ICU. She's certain I'm not going to make her college graduation.
I certainly enjoyed my day with her on the 1st. It was so fun watching her be excited about getting ID'd for her cocktail at dinner. We all had a drink to toast our birthday. I had a mixed drink, daughter had a mixed drink, hubby had a beer. Have to say the manager of the place walked past our table so many times and kept looking at her. She really looks like she's only 10 but she is 21.
Sunday, I was pretty tired and had to try to find some furniture. Daughter broke the couch while I was in the hospital over Christmas. I thought my mother and father in-law were coming in tomorrow, so I was out searching for furniture that could be delivered before today. Once I got home on Sunday night I find out they aren't coming after all, WHEW, gives me some more time to find what I want.
Monday, we had another snow storm here and hubby was home for the day. Seems whenever he's around things go wrong for me. I wanted to go into the kitchen, he was sitting in the recliner with the foot up and I couldn't get past him, so I went in between the coffee table and the couch. Well, as many of you know I've been having headaches nonstop for awhile now. I get dizzy and my balance is off, well, I lost my balance and hit the corner of the coffee table with my right leg. As I start to fall I plant myself firmly with my bad foot and twist it painfully, I didn't hit the floor thankfully, but I did do a bit of crying over the foot.
Yesterday, when I got up and removed my sock, mind you Monday night it looked fine. I had bruising all along the inside of the foot, the heel is black and blue and looks like I've got a plum at the back of the heel. The other side of the foot you can see my Achilles tendon is swollen and it goes all the way up across the top of the foot.
Hubby, took me to see a Dr today, my PT had suggested it last Friday anyway. He's worried I've fractured my heel bone. My Osteoporosis is just so bad from all the steroids I've already been warned about falling on my hips or back. Most likely, (I've been told) I'll break them if I land on them. That's why I put my foot at risk, on Monday. Well, long story short the Dr who saw me was a total witch and she looked at the wet read of the x-ray and said she didn't see a fracture. She said the radiologist would call me if he found something. I know they say that every time I fracture a rib and they do an x-ray I hear no fracture, then I get a CT or PET scan done and it picks them up. My last PET/CT scan shows I have a total of 15 rib fractures in various stages of healing with 3 of them brand new fractures within the last month.
She commented that I'd be seeing the foot and ankle surgeon on the 11th, and he would be better able to help me. So until then, put on an ace bandage and stay in bed with either heat or ice (whichever feels best) on it and rest. She never tested to see if I tore the tendon, which I ruptured this same tendon last summer in August. I can not begin to tell you how badly my foot hurts, and my lower back is really bad off too. I'm thinking I pulled it when I jerked myself to stop falling.
The headaches are not letting up at all, my cheeks are purple all the time even when using my oxygen. Oxygen level is sitting at 88% even with 3 liters of oxygen running. Joint pain is thru the roof, and I think I may have a sinus infection as my face hurts big time. I look like death warmed over and I'm thinking most likely I'm going to need 2 units of blood before the end of the weekend. The lab tech who drew my blood today, they couldn't fit me in to get it from my port. He's been drawing blood from me for almost 8 years now and he said to me, "I can tell you're not feeling to good, your skin is gray in color". He didn't mean anything mean by saying that, I do look gray when I'm unwell, he said I bet you need blood. My fractured ribs are NOT healing, and honestly my mood sucks big time.
I'm frustrated, P/O'd at the lupus/RA and my Rheumy for not thinking out of the box more, I think he's given up on trying to help me. I'm TOTALLY upset with my Oncologist, and his comment me that I NEED to accept this is as good as it's going to get, before I get worse and sicker. My therapist is hoping my pain and fatigue will improve as that normally improves my mood. Have to admit I'm avoiding people, I just feel like the majority of folks DO NOT GET WHAT I DEALING WITH. I have some folks in my life that either don't listen to me or chose to ignore me.
They will ask how I'm feeling and when I say the same or worse, I always get, OH, I THOUGHT YOU'D BE BETTER BY NOW. It's like they can't accept that I'm the way I am. It's so frustrating to talk to someone like that. Basically, all I'm doing right now is sleeping and cuddling with my cat, he's not doing well either. Sleep is a great place for me as I'm not aware of how I'm feeling or the pain that's with me 24/7.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for those of you who wished me a happy birthday and I wanted you to have an update. That way you know why I've not been around a lot, sometimes it's just easier to be MIA for a bit than to say the wrong thing to a dear friend that gives tons of support to another friend.
I'm here reading the post and lurking, if I come across anything that I think I can provide some help to topic I'll post. I'm not ignoring any of you and as soon as I get myself pulled together and not feel so overwhelmed and crazy I'll be back to offer as much support I can possible give. Hope you are all sleeping and have a no pain or low pain day tomorrow. I'll be lurking around and will be back later in the week in a better mood and less pain I hope.
Hugs,
Barbara