Hi everyone, sorry I haven't responded all day, I have been gone doing medical stuff from 9am-5pm, then got my husbands lunch ready for work and fell asleep. The first chunck of this response is to all of you mostly just saying how my apt went. EDEN there is a special message for you at the end of how the appointment with. My appointment was frustrating. The rheumatologist wasn't much help today. He is doing more blood work on top of the endocrinologists blood work. Which I also took care of today. They took 11 vials of blood out of me today. 10ml. I asked the rheumatologist if he would help me with my pain like the endocrinologist told me he would, he said he doesn't do that. I said oh, the endocrinologist said you would, I explained how bad it is and he said ok well I can prescribe you Tramadol, I said oh no thank you my primary dr already gives me Tramadol, (which he would have known that if he read my chart) he said ok well how much are you on, I said 2 50mg tabs every 4-6 hours, 8 tabs a day. He says "Ok, I'm going to give you Tramadol and am changing your doses to only 4 pills a day" WHAT?! Is this guy serious? If 8 pills isn't strong enough to manage my pain what makes him think 4 will? I again politely tell him no I already get it prescribed by my primary. He said he can also give me a pain shot while I was in the office, I asked what it was (always ask what they want to give you before they give it to you) he said Tortal. I said ok in desperation for some relief but I wasn't convinced it was going to help much since my pain is in my spine & joints & Tortal is more to help muscle pain. When I strained my lower back muscles/threw it out a few weeks ago my primary gave me a shot of Tortal & it worked wonders but not so much this time. I asked him if he can at least help me with my excessive tiredness. He said no, he said that was out of his things he treats or something I said but fatigue is a symptom of what you treat and he said I'll have to go to my primary care dr to treat my symptoms. (Well what am I here for? what did I waste my time & money for at the endocrinologists? What is with these "specialists" only diagnosing things but not treating them?) I was so upset at the end of the appointment that I was tearing up before I even left the room. So fed up with having my chain pulled I immediately got on the phone with my primary dr, couldn't get an apt for tomorrow but they had a 2:30 cancel that day. Thank God for my understanding in laws, they agreed to take me to my primary. By the time I was done at the lab center it was 12:30 and my father in law wanted to head over to my primary dr, I told him my apts not until 2:30 he was hoping I could be seen early, lol. A half hour later wqe get to my primarys office, he was at lunch but another dr could see me instead, I asked if that would be stepping over boundaries though, they said no it was fine. Boy was I glad my father in law wanted to go early. I had so much luck with the other dr, I feel bad but I think I am going to switch over to her. She is more willing to treat my pain, she gave me 10/325 hydrocodone with 3 refills even. She didn't give me anything for the excessive tiredness though, she wanted to wait until all the tests results got back. She also wants to do a sleep study on me for sleep apnea. She really talked to me too, she asked about my childhood, asked if I had any idea as to why my spine is the way it is. I told her about all the different kinds of abuse I endured growing up, that I had to pick up my younger sister by 2 years up & into her chair as well as an adult male in his mid 20's up and into his chair at times too. We talked for a good while, at some of the things I said people have done to me she had a look on her face like it made her sick to her stomach, she was disgusted about what men have done to me as a child & when I was 18, she said I was a really strong woman, she said I have turned my life around. On top of the great experience I had with her she also said she would get my referrals to the pain specialist & spine surgeon today. She also said she thinks I have fibromyalgia and a degenerative tissue disease, I asked what she meant, she said like Lupus, she said Lupus would really make all of these symptoms make sense.
Now this message is for EDEN: I really like talking to you. :) As for shrinks, I haven't had good experiences with them at all. One of the first ones I saw was in 5th grade. My school pulled a few selected kids to do group therapy. I was one of those selected few, I guess because I was a foster kid & didn't fit in at all. The councelor said this is a safe place, what is said in here stays in here. Told us all to share, I didn't feel like it, I didn't even see what the point of being there was. He repeated to me that it was safe, no one's aloud to say anything that is said here and so I reluctantly shared, I don't remember what it was I shared but word got spread all over the school and I was even more rediculed for it than I already was. I refused to join in with their group therapy so they set me up with a one on one. The next bad experience was in 6th grade, the year my foster mother of 15 years passed away, I don't know if the councelor thought he was helping me by doing this or not but he informed my teachers and classmates, who informed the rest of the school, that my mother passed away and for everyone to be nice and supportive of me. I remember returning to school and everyone starring at me, eople pointing fingers at me, people whispering amungst themselves "shes the one whos mother passed away" I hated it, all the pity in their eyes, I didn't want to be the center of attention, I didn't like that everyone was starring at me, talking about me oh and lets not forget the students who would always make fun of me whisper and laugh amungst themselves. I ended up getting in a fight with someone for laughing that my mother passed away. The councelor had the nerve to tell me that just because my mom passed away doesn't mean I should resort to violence, I was so mad, I yelled at him for telling everyone about what happened, I told him it was my business and I didn't want anyone knowing. I also told him that I didn't resort to violence because my mom passed away, I resorted to violence because those kids were laughing that my mom passed away. He tried defending them! Another bad experience, a really really bad one. After my foster mom passed away, my foster grandma sent me away. My uncles told me it was because she was too old to care for me, even though I knew that was a lie because she kept my brother who was doing drugs and always cursing at her, she kept my sister in the wheelchair and her adult foster son in a wheelchair. The puzzling thing was that I helped out with them so much, I kept the housework up, went to school, took care of the kids & took care of my mom. She even told my mom several times in front of me that she was going to get rid of me as soon as she passed. Anyways though, I was shuffled around, kept running away from foster homes from being abused and group homes from always getting jumped. I was put on a level 12 group home. In level 12 we have school on grounds, see the therapists and psychiatrists on grounds too. Was overly medicated on anti depressants, so much so that those last couple years in the system are some what of a blur. Anyways the councelor/therapist left my file out on the community table, I don't think they did it on purpose but she really should have been more careful, some of the girls got a hold of it and shared all my personal stories of abuse and such with the rest of the 14 girls on our campus and spread the news to the other 4 houses with 6 girls in each. So yeah I have had horrible experience with therapists at least. I would like to see a psychiatrist again though, now that I'm an adult & I have the right to say no to too many anti depressants at once. Oh no, I just realized a shrink is more of a psychiatrist not councelor, so I just ranted and raved over myself lol. Sometimes I think I share just a tad bit too much. lol. about the seizures, you know I'm not sure what the main cause of them are. I think I'm just prone to them. Certain medications have given me seizures, if I don't get enough sleep or am under too much stress I'll get them, the bad stuff I did has caused them too but I had seizures before I got into the bad stuff. Wow, he sounds like a keeper! My guy is a good guy but wow your guy is like a great guy, lol. That's amazing he looks up your symptoms & diseases and ways to help you and such. Thats so cool that he waits on you hand and foot too. My husband will get up and get me things whne I'm feeling real crummy, but I wouldn't say he waits on me hand and foot. lol. Except when I had the pnuemonia (if I already said this sorry, bad bad bad memory) 2 different types, 3 different spots. I was suppose to be hospitalized for it but stubborn me said no I will go home and he took the best care of me. Wouldn't even let me get up unless it was to go to the bathroom or dr's apts. He even helped me to the bathroom because I was too weak and out of it to. Sat next to me the entire time to keep me company, watched whatever I wanted to watch, took me to the emergency room whenever I felt I needed to go. He was great. I know I don't have to tell you all this about him or about previous bad relationships to prove anything, I just didn't want you or anyone thinking he's not a good guy. Yep yep symptoms get worse, more come along, then more diagnosis's come along lol. Yeah me too, I've always been a nurture. When I was little I would stuff pillows under my shirt as if I were pregnant, walk around my house like that for a while then go to my room, close the door and come out with my baby doll in my arms walk around with it in my arms for days and then put her in a stroller and strolled around the house for days too. When I would go with my mom to the store, which was everytime she went as I literally was glued to her, I would bring my baby with me. I'd even put her in a seat belt, fold up her stroller and put it in the back to stroll her around the store with. I would even "feed" her when I would eat. I always had that baby doll with me. I think I named her "Molly" I would always love taking care of my little sister too. Took excellent care of my mom when she got her cancer. Spent every wakening moment by her side too. During the few months I was still at my grandmas house after she passed I would try and take care of my big brother too. I'd ask him all the time if he wanted me to make him his meals and just take over as the role of our mom, but that got on his nerves, he finally yelled at me to leave him alone, said I wasn't his mom. Oooops lol. At the group home I stayed at the longest I would always be there for this one girl, I'd give her emotional comfort and support and always made sure the other girls left her alone, made sure she ate healthy, cleaned her wounds, bought her things, she ended up calling me "mom". I would love to have 1 boy and 1 girl of my own and adopt 1 to save them from the horrors of foster care. Well, Eden, I just can't stay awake any longer, plus I've probably wrote waaaaayyyyy too much already, lol. Oh yeah to answer your last question, I'm doing ok today. A bit tired but only getting 2 hours of sleep could be playing part in that. I'm not too depressed today like I have been lately either. A bit nauseous from taking medication without eating, lol. My hips is still hurting really badly though. I'm going to lay down, take pressure off my hips probably take a little nap until my husband gets home at 5:30 am. Sending love your way <3 Jennie