Unexpected work intervention today :(

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acquiesce
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 360
   Posted 5/27/2014 5:31 PM (GMT -6)   
My boss and co - worker sat me down for a "talk" today. They told me I should really consider going on disability. They said I'm killing myself and they don't know how I can do it day after day. They want me to have a better quality of life.

I was caught off guard. I love working and I don't feel ready to quit and admit defeat. My body wants me to but my pride and stubborn mind really aren't happy about quitting.

Has anyone else gone through this? When did you know it was time? They do truly care about me and they aren't the only ones who have suggested I stop working. My friends and family have been saying the same thing for months.

:(

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 5/27/2014 5:41 PM (GMT -6)   
My boss did that but said I was laid off. I thought could hold on a couple of more years but it was affecting my work too much.
Joy
Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma, Asthma, Hypothyriodism, Sleep Apnea, OA, Depression, Allergies, and benign familia tremors

When life throws you lemons....
Pick them up and throw them right back at them! :))

Lynnwood
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 7723
   Posted 5/27/2014 5:51 PM (GMT -6)   
I absolutely hated leaving the working world. But it was time when all I did was work and sleep and still felt tired. I didn't know how I would survive without my work - my self-worth & self-respect all came from it! But I needed to stop.

You are so fortunate that your have people concerned about your QOL enough to sit you down!! If all your good hours are spent working, it's really time to sit down and figure out what is important to you. After all, it really is your decision - but sometimes we need the feedback from others before we see reality clearly.

One thing you might be able to try is a short term disability where the plan is for you to go back to work - you can experience the luxury of more time to take care of yourself and see what your body is really able to do.

Best wishes for clarity in your decision!
Lynnwood, Lupus & Sjogren's Moderator, Dx: 2002
DIAGNOSING LUPUS & LUPUS RESOURCES
"Life is far too important to be taken seriously." - Oscar Wilde

FW
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 482
   Posted 5/27/2014 7:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Ahh, I am sorry. It is always so difficult to accept what our bodies are telling us we NEED to do when we still WANT to do it all. I am very fortunate - my husband owns a small business and I work in the office. So my health dictates how much I work on any given day. But, up until a year ago, I also watched my granddaughters (now 3 1/2) full time. It was simply too much. All my free time was spent sleeping! And I ended up in a very long and nasty flare. The girls are now in preschool/daycare and I work in the office 3-4 hours a day. The improvement in my symptoms has been remarkable. I hated admitting it, but I simply had to cut back.

It sounds like quite a few people are concerned about you overextending yourself given your current health. It is wonderful to have that kind of support. Perhaps you could look into some kind of part time work if your employer would agree?

Hope you are feeling well.
Take care, Fran

Dx: Lupus, sjogren's, celiac, severe allergies, asthma, GERD
Daily Meds: Plaquenil, Zyrtec. Aciphex, Nasacort, Prozac, Ambien CR, CellCept, Zantac, Bactrim, Q-Var, Restasis, Albuterol
Daily Supplements: Calcium, B-100 Complex, Daily Vitamins.
As Needed Meds: Epinephrine, Benadryl, Proventil, Tylenal, Vicodin, Prednisone.

oreo11
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 399
   Posted 5/27/2014 8:02 PM (GMT -6)   
I knew it was time to cut back at work when I was having more serious flares and spending the week-ends trying to recover from a 5 day work week. After working part-time for a number of years, I tried to go back to full time and what an eye opener that was. It about killed me. I currently work 4 days a week and plan on retiring in three more years. I am also considering cutting back to 3 days a week if my health suffers. Thankfully, I have a supportive boss and very supportive co-workers, They are always looking out for me and know how much I suffer at times. It sounds like you are in a work environment where you are respected and listened to. I might try part-time work and see how it goes from there.

Laura

acquiesce
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 360
   Posted 5/28/2014 5:39 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for your replies Lynnwood, Joy, Laura and Fran.

I had already gone down to 4 days a week but it's true I am just living to work right now. Most of my days off are spent either at dr's appointments or catching up and trying to recoup from the days I'm working. My job is just too physical for me to keep up. I've been trying to do all the things I did before when I was healthier.

Now with the nerve damage in my elbows and hands I'm supposed to wear braces on my wrists and elbows and I look like a robot. I find it so embarrassing and it hinders what I can do as they basically cover my entire arms. My boss and co worker seeing me like that yesterday just basically said enough is enough. If I don't use the braces I can eventually lose the use of my hands. Most people would agree that would be a sign to find a new job or take a break but for me I just keep holding on! It's so hard.

I reluctantly looked into my options last night and found I'm likely eligible for a sick leave that would be covered by unemployment insurance. It can be up to 15 weeks and then possibly apply for disability. So I think I will apply for the sick leave and see if maybe I can either start a home business or find something part time that is less physically demanding. I'm still waiting on some x ray results for my back and neck to see what shape they are in as well.

When I had my EMG done the neurologist asked me about allergies and when I told him I was allergic to cold temperatures he said that was part in parcel with Lupus. I've been allergic to cold since I was 15 yrs old. He said I may have had Lupus since then which would explain a lot. I also used to have seizures all throughout my teens. When I saw the allergist 10 years ago he said he suspected I have an autoimmune disease but I didn't pay much attention. I was never tested. Now that I'm starting to get results back from different tests it's a real kick in the head the amount of damage that has been done by soldiering on. Hindsight is always 20/20 though isn't it? This is a tough lesson to learn.

I am lucky to be surrounded by caring people, you are all absolutely right. I suppose I should start listening.

jan1952
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2014
Total Posts : 357
   Posted 5/31/2014 4:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Wow, Joie, I wasn't aware of the braces you have to wear. I am SOOO sorry. That'll definitely put a "whoa" on the way you're accustomed to doing things.

You truly do have wonderful, caring workmates and friends and family. And "living to work" is not a very pretty idea. Living for yourself sounds a lot better. You're a fighter, and an independent woman (would be my guess), so no doubt, this is all so tough on and for you. Kinda like at a crossroads, eh?

How about what Fran asked? Going (very) part-time? Is that a possibility? But maybe your body is telling you it's time to take a complete break from work?

How wonderful to have such supportive and loving people in your life. Perhaps it's time to take off your hard hat and listen. . . . ;) You can still be an involved woman--in many aspects of life--especially with your family--and being such a positive person, I bet you'll be busy to your heart's content, and probably come up with some very creative ideas!

As always, I have faith in you!

Jan
“Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

acquiesce
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 360
   Posted 6/1/2014 6:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Jan and you're right, I've already thought of a ton of things I'd like to pursue!

I volunteered in a Ride For Lupus yesterday and it was awesome! Over 150 motorcycle riders participated and although the total hasn't been tallied yet I believe we made a good amount for a donation to Sick Kids Hospital in Toronto for lupus research :)

I met one of the doctors from there as he came out in support and said a few words about how they are focusing right now on lupus and it's effects on the heart. Super nice guy and very dedicated. He mentioned how ecstatic he is to have his first generation of pediatric lupus patients having children of their own.

100% of the proceeds yesterday will go to research, not like these charities that have become industries these days.

Anyway, it inspired me to possibly start an event myself. Something annual and since my family has always been involved with classic cars I was thinking a car show with a 50's theme would be fun. Could have a band playing oldies and some vendors, maybe some food trucks, that sort of thing. I don't want to do another "walk for", there is one in Hamilton (closest large city nearby) and the ride I went to was in a town an hour away. I would like to do something different and local.

So yeah! Also a few work at home ideas I'm mulling over. I'll keep busy :)

I was exhausted yesterday, came home in the late afternoon and slept a couple of hours. Didn't even stir or hear a peep in my busy house. I was wiped out and zonked out lol. But it was sooo worth it!
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss

jan1952
Regular Member


Date Joined Mar 2014
Total Posts : 357
   Posted 6/1/2014 9:25 PM (GMT -6)   
How very, very cool, Joie! Way to go!

That one doctor has seen a full circle--first generation of pediatric lupus patients having their own children. That really sunk in. And it's a testament to his approach and ability that they stayed in touch.

Wow--and to have ALL the proceeds go to charity. That's the way it should be instead of so much skimming off the top and a measly percentage left for the charity.

There are so many motorcycle groups that impress me with their whole-hearted support of charities--and veterans--and the fact that many of the riders are vets themselves.

Love your idea about a classic car get-together--with a 50's theme! Maybe a poodle skirt dance-a-thon or fortune tellers and some carnival hawkers. ha You'll figure it all out--what fun!

There are definitely some opportunities to work at home, too. I built a home-based clientele through guru.com. Started off with editing and writing and working on websites and eventually stopped going through Guru because people became my own clients. Guru is the largest freelance site in the world, I think. They have ALL kinds of jobs. I've put all of that on hold for now . . . it's taken a back seat, but I hope to get back in the swing sometime.

What a solid sleep for you! Sounds mauvelous, dahling. :) Hooray for such a wonderful day!

Jan
“Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, 'I will try again tomorrow.'"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

acquiesce
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2014
Total Posts : 360
   Posted 6/3/2014 6:02 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Jan, I remember you telling me about guru.

Yeah, I'm totally stoked to plan something. Hopefully for early next summer!

I'm sure you will get back into the swing once you find out what's going on and get your "mojo" back. That's what I'm hoping will happen for me once I have a chance to recoup and regroup :)
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr. Seuss
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