I'm feeling super down right now and need some advice. I have been a nurse for 5 1/2 years, working mostly as an ICU nurse. I recently changed jobs to a sit down job that still allows me to use my ICU mind but don't physically have to pull and push on the patients. I thought this would solve all of my problems but I am sadly mistaken. I have been at the job for 2 months and am still having pain, fatigue, etc. Unfortunately, I had to switch to nights so that has really messed up my sleep schedule (I'll be switching to days in 2 weeks!). I am not driving home crying in pain every day like I was before but I still feel like crap! I have now been sick for 9 days straight with pericarditis/pleurisy, vertigo, and coughing, chest tightness, coughing up sputum, etc. I have been on antibiotics for 2 days but still feel like hell. Supposed to go to the doctor today if I'm not feeling better (even though I'm very stubborn and don't want to). My problem is, I'm new at this job and don't want to mess it up by having to call off. I've already had to call off 2 days for a flare, had to leave early to go to the ER on the night I got vertigo and pericarditis/pleurisy, and now I had to call off last night because I can't stop coughing or barely get out of bed. I am not allowed to apply for FMLA until I've been with the company for a year. At times, I feel like giving up and just applying for disability. What the hell am I torturing myself for!? I've been trying so hard to keep working and I've changed my entire life for this darn disease and still don't feel better! I'm stressed out, feeling depressed, having anxiety problems that I've NEVER had before.. I just don't know what's happening to me. I could just sit and cry. I'm 26.. this crap isn't supposed to happen to young people!! Sorry for the vent but I feel like no one understands..
Nicole- 26, married, no children
Endometriosis, Lupus, Raynaud's, Degenerative Disc, Migraines
Meds- Vitamins, birth control, Plaquenil, Prilosec, Lyrica, Folic acid, MTX injections weekly, Celebrex prn, Tylenol prn, Tramadol prn, Zofran prn
~Don't worry about
tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about
itself. Every day has enough trouble~