anyone have help at home?

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kriscoop
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2014
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/17/2014 4:03 PM (GMT -6)   
hi all

I was diagnosed with lupus in 2007 (a year after my son was born), and felt pretty crappy for the first couple years. These days I'm feeling better, but still feel "less than" a lot of the time, particularly when my mid-afternoon fatigue kicks in, ie. pretty much daily.

Needless to say, my life has gotten a bit out of control over the past few years, and although my husband is way supportive and basically does everything :), I need to get my house and life a bit more in order. So I've finally faced the fact that things are not working as they are, and we need help (gulp! this is a VERY difficult reality to face for me as a type A personality...working on letting that go ;) ).

I was just wondering if anyone else relies on outside assistance? I am thinking of hiring someone to help out once a month, and my mom to come in once a month to help us get stuff back on track. It's really hard for me to stay on top of things with the fatigue and pretty crappy lupus brain fog.

One complication that just came up is that my mom said she'd be glad to help, but then sent me an email that kinda missed the boat, mentioning things like "decluttering with ADD" and "self-discipline." I was like, ummm, how about getting your life together when you have lupus?? eyes

Anyway, I just wondered what people do if they feel they just can't handle it?

thanks for reading

--kristin

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 10/17/2014 7:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm single and share a house with my folks and niece. They help me out a lot.

If I could afford it I would hired a cleaning lady to come in every other week. Go for it.
Joy
Lupus, RA, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma, Asthma, Hypothyriodism, Sleep Apnea, Depression, Allergies, and benign familia tremors

When life throws you lemons....
Pick them up and throw them right back at them! :))

Lynnwood
Forum Moderator


Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 7698
   Posted 10/17/2014 7:54 PM (GMT -6)   
When my fatgiue was bad, I had a cleaning person every 2 weeks. Nothing at all wrong with getting some help!

I did find that hiring help seemed to work better than friends/family.
Lynnwood, Lupus & Sjogren's Moderator, Dx: 2002
DIAGNOSING LUPUS & LUPUS RESOURCES
"Life is far too important to be taken seriously." - Oscar Wilde

lupie-leesha
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2014
Total Posts : 25
   Posted 10/17/2014 9:44 PM (GMT -6)   
If you can afford it totally do it.
I was just diagnosed a few months ago and I'm a single mom to a 2 year old little girl, not much family support either, so while my daughter is in pre school ( therapeutically referred) I try to rest and do the odd cleaning, try to remember your body is fighting against you, anyone and everyone needs help sometimes.
If I could afford to hire someone I definitely would, no shame in needing help.
Keep well
Gentle hugs
Leesha
Dx- Lupus, Chronic Pericarditis, RA, Anemia and pending.
way to young to be this broken!

kriscoop
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2014
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 10/20/2014 6:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Lynnwood said...

I did find that hiring help seemed to work better than friends/family.


yeah, this is probably true...I know my mom wants to help, but it would be tricky, and I'm not sure she realized how interfering the lupus actually is...

thanks all for your thoughts! :)

--k

Brismom
New Member


Date Joined Oct 2014
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 10/27/2014 12:14 AM (GMT -6)   
I had to stop working as an RN due to being sick...before I was diagnosed. I blew thru my 401k's and any saved money I had and I had to sell my house and my rental property. So I'm pretty much poor as a church mouse now. I don't have a pot to pee in. If I could afford help I would do it in a heartbeat. My mind thinks of all the stuff that I need to do, that my body is too fatigued to accomplish. If you can afford it, I don't get the hesitation.

Kimstph
Regular Member


Date Joined Sep 2014
Total Posts : 55
   Posted 12/14/2014 3:00 PM (GMT -6)   
I think I'm ready to give in and hire help. I hate to waste the money but I can't do it and my house is disgusting! I'm one of those people who used to keep a nice clean house. *sigh*
Kim
Breast Cancer Survivor, Lupus, Seizure Disorder

Elaine123
New Member


Date Joined Jan 2015
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 1/24/2015 7:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello everyone,

I sure wish I had help in my house. The first couple of times I could use major help. It has gotten completely out of control since my having to retire from teaching in 2010. My husband has medical issues, so not much help there. I do think he could do a little more to help me, but he does do what little cooking is done. I want my house back. I can live with not everything being perfect etc. I just want a reasonably normal house to live in again. It is full of junk right now that needs to be gone then I could manage to do a bit more. I get so frustrated.

couchtater
Elite Member


Date Joined Jul 2009
Total Posts : 14475
   Posted 1/24/2015 10:46 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm a former teacher too and found out what a pack rat I was and still am.
I've thinned out some items but I still have a lot of things collecting dust.
Joy
Lupus, RA, Fibromyalgia, Glaucoma, Asthma, Hypothyriodism, Sleep Apnea, Depression, Allergies, and benign familia tremors

When life throws you lemons....
Pick them up and throw them right back at them! :))

stripey
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1059
   Posted 1/27/2015 9:44 AM (GMT -6)   
When I was dx with Lupus after being put on Humira for the Crohn's Disease I was granted DLA (disability living allowance) and this means I can afford to pay for a cleaner once a week for 3 hours. Makes it much easier and stops me worrying about hoovering and dusting. I don't have any family close by and as my cleaner is someone I have known for years I totally trust her and don't feel guilty as she know how illI have been especially after spending 6 wks in hospital late last year for stricture surgery for the Crohn's.

If you can afford it, I would definately, recommend it. I am still able to work reduced hours but that is due to working for a fantastic company and boss and my husband works full time and after looking after me he was knackered as well. As we are both still in our early 40's and know my health is only going to go downhill we want to be able to enjoy time together and not have to worry about cleaning.
Crohn's, antiphospholipid syndrome, Crohn's arthritis, very low blood pressure, low kidney function, ezcema, asthma, ileostomy, short bowel syndrome, many surgeries for abscessses & strictures. Lupus - caused by Humira, nerve damage, 6 displaced discs in neck and 1 in lower back. Hyperparathyroid disease. Azathioprine, immodium, fludrocortisone, oxycodone, gabapentin, amitriptyline, vit d
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