Hi husband18. First let me say that I've had lupus for over 10 years and also have had major depressive disorder and anxiety for the entire time. I feel very at home in my psychiatrist's office. Many folks find it difficult to seek mental health. I did too at first, but once I did it made a profound change in my life.
That being said I have had the exact problem you describe. Even with excellent mental health care I often feel that I'm a burden to my husband. He helps me with a variety of tasks when I'm ill, I have absolutely no libido, I often prefer to be alone, we usually can't go out much and practically never on vacation because I can't "plan" to feel well.
I feel that my husband could easily find someone who can do all the things I can't. He always convinces me that I am the woman he loves and he probably would never find someone he loves as much as he loves me. Also, from my perspective I've had years when I've been extremely ill, but I've also had times when I could and did participate in activities we share. I do my best to cuddle, love, appreciate, and enjoy him and this makes me feel less of a burden. I certain hope you both can make your marriage work. Butterflake
SLE '05, Sjogrens, fibro, Raynaud's, major depressive disorder, CNS problems, GERD, angina, 1st stage kidney disease. Many meds: better living through chemistry