There is a huge difference between being lazy and being ill. When we cannot do things because of the enormous fatigue Lupus and/or similar auto-immune diseases impose upon us, there is NO REASON to feel like a failure.
To overuse an analogy, if you had diabetes, would you feel like a failure because you could not control your blood sugar by shear force of will?
All we can do is the best we can do. If you could do more/do better, you would! It's just stuff, and chores that can be done anytime. Your family may also be busy, but they have ENERGY, which seems to be the first thing these diseases steal from us. You can exhaust yourself, and your illness, whatever it may turn out to be, won't allow you to replenish. They are young, and healthy, and will have more energy tomorrow!
Hang in there.
Lynnwood, Lupus & Sjogren's Moderator, Dx: 2002DIAGNOSING LUPUS & HW's LUPUS 101
"Life is far too important to be taken seriously." - Oscar Wilde