It sounds like your mother does have something going on, although I wouldn't want to guess what.
Lupus, OR ANY OTHER DISEASE, does not make a person abusive. Sounds like she is looking for any and all excuses for her behavior.
Lupus can sometimes appear to make us selfish, just because we don't have much energy and need to put our own needs first. But that is a far, far cry from being abusive.
Probably the best thing you can do is check into getting a therapist FOR YOURSELF - an expert who can help you determine how you want to behave in the face of your mother's behavior.
Lynnwood, Lupus & Sjogren's Moderator, Dx: 2002DIAGNOSING LUPUS & HW's LUPUS 101
"Life is far too important to be taken seriously." - Oscar Wilde
Post Edited (Lynnwood) : 12/2/2015 9:53:24 AM (GMT-7)