Carol, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time right now. Well, I mean a rougher time than usual. Do you find yourself just limping along until something happens, such as the anniversary of your husband's death, and then hit bottom once again? I would think that the anniversary of his death would be hard enough if you were healthy and out there conquering the world, but being sick makes it even harder to bear.
You talk about not knowing why you're here. When we thought we were facing my hubby's death, I realized that all that matters to me are the people in my life. While I miss my old life too, I believe that when I'm at the end of my life and take the time to look back, my best memories will be those that have other people in them. Perhaps you can't create a beautiful garden anymore, or have a successful career, but you can be a good friend. Your sweet, caring disposition is so important to this forum. You always have a kind and supportive word for those of us who are having a hard time and I know I would miss that if you weren't here. Sometimes we have to look for the little blessings in our lives in order to see our true value. I hope you can do that Carol.
Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Sjogren's, osteoarthritis, fibro, ibs, renauds, restless leg, hiatal hernia, double vision.
cellcept, neurontin, prednisone, plaquenil, synthroid, triamterene, cymbalta, tramadol, lunesta, actonel, meridia, tricor, aciphex, multivitamin, calcium w vit D, fish oil, aspirin