my dad has lupus-he is stubborn

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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 12
   Posted 7/12/2007 11:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey all
  I am a 24yo. girl with crohns disease and have just found this website (it rules)..and my father is 55yo. and has always had colitis and for the past 5 years has been living with lupus.  He has aged tremendously in this short time, withering away essentially.  He smokes a lot of butts, eats a lot of chocolate, and drinks a lot of rum...He is stubborn but very kind and i know the right prodding can get him to listen to me.  Any helpful hints or info you could share would be great...I think he is ready to listen to me seeing how I am struggling so hard with staying out of the hospital myself...thanks
24 yo. female
Dx'd with crohn's at 17y.o.
prednisone.pentasa.remicade.6mp.antibiotics.trazadone.asacol.natural vitamins.and tons more.
A huge hater of is evil.
Trying so so hard to avoid surgery..

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2006
Total Posts : 1344
   Posted 7/12/2007 9:51 PM (GMT -6)   
You cannot help someone who will not admit to problems and want to help himself. 
I am older and try very hard to take care of myself to give quality to my remaining years and not be a burden to my wife, children and grandchildren.  Also want to enjoy my grandchildren for as long as I can.  Today I spent the afternoon at our local pool with 2 of them and had a great time.  Hard to do that if you don't take care of yourself.  That is just a personal decision that each of us has to make....our time here is so short.
My father and both grandfathers were not that way and had lots of problems.  Both my grandfathers died prematurely due to their excesses and while my father stopped his excesses and lived to 87 he did not have a happy life.
By the way, chocolate, particularly if it is pure and dark, is a "health food."  Same with red wine.  Just can't take too much of anything, even water.
Sorry about the humor but you ask serious questions that don't have easy answers.
Mixed connective tissue disease (systemic lupus, scleroderma, polymyositis), Raynauds phenomena, Hypertension, Barrett's esophagus.
Meds: prednisone (7mg & tapering), 100mg imuran, lisinopril 40mg, maxide 37.5/25mg, norvasc 5 mg, folic acid, potassium, aciphex 20mg, multi vitamins.
Maintain your optimism and you can beat the odds.
"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."  Helen Keller

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2005
Total Posts : 5403
   Posted 7/13/2007 10:09 AM (GMT -6)   
darcy, I wish I had answers for you too, but it's hard to make someone take care of themselves unless they want to. This has to be hard on you to watch him go downhill. Do his docs know he's not taking care of himself? I'm not sure there is much they could say to him either. My father in law is similar - he has multiple health problems that keep getting worse. I think his philosophy is that he's going to die anyway, so why not do whatever the heck he wants to. It's very frustrating for my husband's family.

Hang in there and I hope somehow that your dad decides to make some healthy changes.
Diagnosis:  UCTD (lupus) 2006; Raynauds 2006; Sjogren's 2006; lupus symptoms began 2003; CFS 1991; Mono 1985
Meds:  Plaquenil 400mg; Prednisone 5-10mg; Tramadol 100mg 3-4x daily; Amitriptyline 25mg; Neurontin 200mg; Prevacid; Steriod Cream and Mouth Rinse for tongue and mouth ulcers; Hydrocodone 5/500 prn for severe pain; Restasis eye drops



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