Sheryl, I haven't heard of too many people who didn't have any lupus symptoms before being diagnosed. Usually there is something that brings a person to the doc who then will run some labs. From what I've heard, lupus kidney involvement can often be pretty silent - there is usually no pain when lupus affects the kidneys.
I really hope your rheumy appointment goes well and that you get a great rheumy the first time around. Try not to get too discouraged if you don't get a diagnosis right away - sometimes it takes a while. For some people it doesn't take too long, but for others it can take several years. It can be a long and frustrating process, but hopefully you'll get some answers fairly soon.
I'm sorry to hear that your husband had a relapse - hopefully he'll get right back on track - does he have a support system like AA to help him get back on track? You are right that lots of stress can make symptoms flair, so I imagine all of this is causing your symptoms to flare up.
Hang in there and know that we are here for you. Gentle ((((hugs))))
Diagnosis: UCTD (lupus) 2006; Raynauds 2006; Sjogren's 2006; lupus symptoms began 2003; CFS 1991; Mono 1985
Meds: Plaquenil 400mg; Prednisone 5-10mg; Tramadol 100mg 3-4x daily; Amitriptyline 25mg; Neurontin 200mg; Prevacid; Steriod Cream and Mouth Rinse for tongue and mouth ulcers; Hydrocodone 5/500 prn for severe pain; Restasis eye drops
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