Razzel - I seem to go in and out of those moods where enough is enough. I never want to accept my illness. I know what I have and I know I need to keep on top of it, but just handling the basics and the emergencies are enough for me to deal with. I do procrastinate a lot and my priorities get screwed up at times, but I do the best I can with a multitude of things I am now in the position to deal with. I am constantly adapting to new changes as the disease progresses and changes. One knows that alone is enough to contend with. I am a single mother with two children that have special needs and sometimes I have to be last on the list of nightmares to deal with. Sometimes I get stubborn and just plain don't want to do it. I didn't ask for this so don't ask me to do anything about it. I think it is all a process of denial and acceptance and it comes in spurts. Our minds and bodies can only handle so much at once. We are humans with a limited capacity to cope and adapt to our circumstances.
I liken it to a boxing match. After getting pounded so many times, it is hard to get up and keep fighting some days. Can't give up though. Life is sometimes unfair like that. But we all have normal responses to it. Who likes getting beat up all the time? Not me. Thanks but no thanks. Sometimes I feel that way towards having Lupus...thanks, but no thanks. Seems normal enough to me - Best wishes - Kristin
Dx: Lupus CNS 11/2005; Current - Mitral valve sclerosis, MVP/regurg, dementia; GERD; vision loss, narcolepsy, RA, IBS, ovarian cysts, raynauds, EBV/CFS, inflam. liver/spleen. Rx: Atenolol, Aricept, Flexeril, Motrin Previous-rashes, hemi-pelagic migraine, sensory loss, amnesia, PTSD/Dep., host of neuro problems, pregnancy compl., False pos. syphilis, fine speck & homogen ANA; IgM; staph/strept infections, colonitis, pancreaitis, gastritis, costochondritis, pericarditis, Hashimoto's, dyspnea, hyper/hypotension, lipedemia, ulcers, pneumonia, anemia, Scleroderma symptoms, vein swelling, etc.