Yes, I have pretty bad neck and head pain. For me, it's all due to my Fibromyalgia. Also, we tend to store our stress in those upper body muscles. If you're stressed and fatigued, it will hybernate in the neck, shoulder, head region. Not nice is it. I can understand 100%. I'm in a bad neck state as we speak. It's been going on for 3 weeks now. It's exhausting.
The anxiety/panic thing is really common too, also in Fibromyalgia. Have you been tested for that? It's a pain syndrome that is very often associated with lupus. If you press on your arms, legs, ribs etc, do you feel like a big bruise? Any tissue pain at all? I'd check with your rheumy next time you're in. The neck/head pain, anxiety/panic symptoms are HUGE Fibro symptoms.
You're not going crazy, just like Redrose said. It's part of the disease process. It's just the way it is. Unfortunately. If it gets so bad you can't manage, please see someone. I saw a psychiatrist earlier this year and instead of putting me on another medication, she taught me how to turn off the tap. The tap being our adrenal glands which produce cortisol, the "fight or flight" hormone. That is what you're feeling when you get anxious or panicky. Too much adrenalin/cortisol in your blood. It's a horrible feeling isn't it.
Best thing for me is to take long deep breaths, just calm the heart down, calm the breathing down. Put your mind into a peaceful place, think about peaceful, joyful things. Just remember, you're not in any danger, so turn off the tap. I say that to myself when I feel the anxiety come on. I just say, "Okay Gin, turn off the tap. You're not in danger. You have nothing to run from. You're in a safe place. Calm down, turn off the tap." It works!
Have a peaceful evening Cathy,