Oh Suzanne, (((((((hugs)))))))),
I think we've all had those feelings of inadequacy with our spouses. I sure have. I think to myself, "why in the world would he purposefully spend his life dealing with all this crap." LOL. He says the exact same thing as your wonderful husband. He knew what he was getting into when said I DO. And he loves me. He doesn't want anyone else. Then I say, "Are you sure about that!?" LOL.
Your feelings are dead on with so many of us. I truly understand what you're saying and feeling. I go through it every day myself.
I'm sorry you have a diagnosis of AN. I'd be hoping for plain old arthritis too. Hopefully it was caught soon enough that treatment will really help. I hope you don't need surgery and replacements. I just got a diagnosis of arthritis in my neck. Yesterday actually. Plain old arthritis. Not even RA. No relation to my lupus. We can't win can we!
Just hope you get the encouragement you need Suzanne. We care about you!