Venting a bit...wanna join in

Hello everyone...i have been an emotional mess all weekend. I cried friday night and today 3 times cause i just dont feel good and want to be myself again also i am pmsing so this doesnt help the emotiona. I hate this diseases so much. I hate being on meds...i hate being tired all the time.and as much sleep i get i am still tired..i hate my knees hurting...i hate stepping all over my words and not remembering small details and studdering..i hate my head feeling messed up..i hate being irritable....i hate being dehydrated....itchy....now my tips of my fingers are peeling and now 2 of my fingers formed blisters and i peeled off the skin... i dont know what this is all about.

 

I try to fight this disease and say that i am not going to let it run my life but some days it does and i cant help it...I dont feel like i am getting better at all but i guess i got to be patient.  I know someone hat has lyme and they found out this summer was on meds for a month and now off of them and say they are fine...they still have knee pain and tired but this person has very bad knees and always tired from working 2 jobs...now why is she recovering quick and much much older than me while i suffer. i wokr about 40 hrs a week and my job is very physicle and its killing me but i have no choice but I feel like i am not going to get better  if i over do it but i also dont want this to run my life. i dont know if i should take some time out of work or not. But i would go nuts being at home all the time and i need the money....

 

thanks for listening....

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. Hang in there and keep taking it day by day.

Big hugs.

Lucy

I understand your frustration. It has been a year and a half for me and I have had it. I am not me anymore and do not like who I am now. I officially stopped the antibiotics last week on my own and cancelled my Dr appt. Trying something off the internet that claims it kills lyme called Spiro.

It will either work or I am done trying to fight this. I am not me anymore. Just a shell.

I probably can't vent without using four-letter words.....so I won't. When I get frustrated I try to remember that tomorrow might be better (and sometimes it is).

A close friend of mine died from kidney cancer almost two years ago......I remember him saying that he got through the rough days by trying to divert his anger and frustration by helping others (in one way or another). Not once during his 4 year battle with cancer did I hear him complain. He was a stronger and braver man than I will ever be.

One last thing that just popped into my head. I've had many struggles in my 29 year life (medical, personal, relationships, etc.) and I look back on those dark moments and they made me who I am today (and for that I am grateful). I hope one day to look back at this struggle and realize that some good came from it.......I hope.

Hang in there