mental mush brings me down

nefferdun

Veteran Member

Joined : Feb 2008

Posts : 900

Posted 12/1/2008 7:51 AM (GMT -7)

The most lasting symptom is my mental mush - no memory at all, confusion, difficulty typing as I make so many errors, feeling of being detached and not connected to myself, depression which is just an emptiness or apathy. Will this ever go away? What gets it out of your brain?

I am responsible for making sure my treatment is being taken care of because my doctor is not interrested - I need to tell him how to order the IGENEX Tests (for co infections) and a new CD57. I am afraid I will just float away and not respond anymore. I have been telling myself to do this but I forget or just feel too down to believe anything can make a difference.

peacesoul

Veteran Member

Joined : Jan 2007

Posts : 2446

Posted 12/1/2008 8:12 AM (GMT -7)

Hey

Of course it will go away. Our bodies are ALWAYS in healing mode. The natural process is to heal and not shut down.
Keep your body and mind sharp with exercises (reading, games, puzzles, therapy etc) and keep the body strong with exercise and clean food and you will get better.

I'm in the same boat as well. My anxiety and depression overwhelm me, and I just feel like throwing in the towel and laying in bed FOREVER, but you need to learn to ignore these sensations and know your perception is unbalanced right now. So like a nagging friend, tell the negative thoughts to take a friggin hike

You'll be ok

The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places

JELAINEP

Veteran Member

Joined : Sep 2007

Posts : 2017

Posted 12/1/2008 10:24 AM (GMT -7)

I have this now and I hate it. I'm on my week "off" of abxs, and I'm going down hill. The miracle drug "Lyrica" has only worked for the "pain to the touch" in my skin, but my bone pain has increased and now I'm getting shooting pin pricks into my wrist and finger bones. God I hate this disease. The more Lyrica I take (I was prescribed to increase the amt in order to relieve the bone pain - haha) the woozier I get. I don't mind woozy for a day or two while trying to adjust, but I hate the side effects along with the original pain... it's like "What's the point?" but I digress into my own Lyme he11, as usual.

nefferdun - Hang in there. You can always email me directly... I've been where you're at and it sucks... take care of yourself.

We'll get through today - Jennifer

^{06/00- The beginning, 08/01-LD positive, 10/01- Igenex and CDC LD positive, 10/02-LD positive, 11/03-LD positive, 10/07-Bartonella positive, CD57=3, 08/25/08 - 10 weeks of IV Rocephin, my first visit to a Pain Mgmt. dr. - she was non-judgemental and will not prescribe me any "opiates" which in the end, is probably a good thing.}^{Current Rx's 11/12/08: Wellbutrin 300mg, Paxil 60mg, Xanax 5mg, Rozerem 8mg, Darvocet, Acidophilus, Rifampin 600mg, Levaquin 500mg, Lyrica 150 to 300mg,}

^{Medicare/SSDI theme song}^-^{http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bd2B6SjMh_w}

^{"How much more can I take?", song -}^{http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5gHiR1xeOSs}

ria123

Regular Member

Joined : Aug 2008

Posts : 348

Posted 12/1/2008 1:28 PM (GMT -7)

Peacesoul you are so right.

nefferdun
You have to keep fighting if you give in then you will only feel worse. keep pushing your body to get better. You will get better, Exercise when you can the best you can and eat healthy. Take your meds and little by little we are chipping away at the Lyme disease until you get better. if your doctor doesnt help you please find a good LLD in your area. A doctor who knows his meds is half the battle right there.
Hang in there and never ever give up. You will get better.
Maria

hopingToFindCure

Veteran Member

Joined : Nov 2008

Posts : 759

Posted 12/1/2008 5:52 PM (GMT -7)

Exercise is good advice. Whatever you can do...Be sure to eat right and take a B12 dissolvable MGS vitamin for energy, Keep movin'! It takes time for most of us ria123 is right!

nefferdun

Veteran Member

Joined : Feb 2008

Posts : 900

Posted 12/1/2008 7:32 PM (GMT -7)

Thanks, your kindness and understanding is very uplifting. I am not nearly as sick as I was a year ago which is good so there is a lot to be thankful for and hopeful about. I just feel like I have dementia sometimes. This afternoon my husband called the movie theatre to find out what movies were playing. He was saying them outloud and for some reason I thought he was talking to his mother who was giving him the answers for the Wheel of Fortune! She sees it an hour earlier and one time she gave him the answers and he fooled me into believing he guessed them - but we had just been discussing going to a movie so this made no sense. I will take B12. In fact I have some and have been trying to remember it.
I can forget something within seconds. I was filling the horse's water tank and walking 75 feet to turn it off. My husband called my name and I immediately forgot my purpose and went to him, forgetting the water, which overran the tank for an hour before it suddenly hit me when I realized I heard the water pump running.
I force myself to do things. I exercise but not as much. I paint.

I hope my brain clears up a little. It is like being in the fog forgetting the sun. I want to see things clearly again.

peacesoul

Veteran Member

Joined : Jan 2007

Posts : 2446

Posted 12/2/2008 8:14 AM (GMT -7)

Neff, are you on any antidepressant?

The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong in the broken places

nefferdun

Veteran Member

Joined : Feb 2008

Posts : 900

Posted 12/2/2008 2:59 PM (GMT -7)

I think St. John's Wort works good for me but I have to remember to take it. That is a good idea. I am not using abx now. I was taking Zhang's herbs but they suddenly caused me to be sleepless. I was waking up every two hours all night for weeks and it seemed to be getting worse. I was so tired I just dumped everything. Last week I saw a homeopathic doctor who started me on cat's claw and vitamins, including a lot of vitamin C and magnesium which gives me diarrhea. He said he would try the rife machine and hydrogen peroxide later. I have no idea if he knows what he is doing. The medical doctor is useless. I told him several times I needed to be tested for co infections but he just ignored me. He joked that if he ever had another patient with lyme I would be the first one he would consult with. That means he admits knowing less than me, doesn't really care, and that is so depressing. I have called the state epidemiologist but he won't recommend anyone. The yahoo lyme support group for Montana has a lot of people that can't get help. The nearest LLMD is in Seattle - about 900 miles. Someone told me their neighbor just found out he is infected and he has been so sick he cannot work. I am trying to contact him to see how he is doing and if he has found a doctor that is knowledgeable. Many people here cannot even find a doctor that believes they could have lyme. I just read lithium is supposed to help your brain - I bought some but forgot what it was for and never tried it. It is in a box full of vitamins and supplements I read about in various books. At one point I was taking 25 pills a day.
This sounds despairing but I am doing ok - just having a bad day or two. I 'll get myself fired up again soon. Thank you for your help.

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